What matter titles? HELMHOLTZ is a name That challenges, alone, the award of Fame! When Emperors, Kings, Pretenders, shadows all, Leave not a dust-trace on our whirling ball, Thy work, oh grave-eyed searcher, shall endure, Unmarred by faction, from low passion pure. To bridge the gulf 'twixt matter-veil and mind Perchance to mortals, dull-sensed, slow, purblind, Is not permitted--yet; but patient, keen, Thou on the shadowy track beyond the Seen, Didst dog the elusive truth, and seek in sound The secret of soul-mysteries profound. Essential Order, Beauty's hidden law! Marvels to strike more sluggish souls with awe, Great seekers, lonely-souled, explore that track, We welcome the wild wonders they bring back From ventures stranger than an earthly Pole Can furnish. Distant still that mental goal To which great spirits strain; but when calm Fame Sums its bold seekers, HELMHOLTZ, thy great name Among the foremost shall eternal stand, Science's pride, and glory of thy land. * * * * * "My dear," said Mrs. R., "I had to discharge my gardener, for when I questioned him about the sale of the vegetables his answers were far too amphibious." * * * * * UNHAPPY THOUGHT BY AN INVALID.--What a dreadful thing to become the Permanent Head of a Department with a Permanent Headache! * * * * * EJACULATIONS _On being asked to play Croquet, A.D. 1894._ ["It is impossible to visit any part of the country without realising the fact that the long-discredited game of Croquet is fast coming into vogue again.... This is partly owing to the abolition of 'tight croqueting.'"--_Pall Mall Gazette._] Eh? What? Why? How? Are we back in the Sixties again? I am rubbing my eyes--is it _then_, or now? I'm a _Rip van Winkle_, it's plain! Hoop, Ball, Stick, Cage? Eh, fetch them all out once more? Why, look, they're begrimed and cracked with age, And their playing days are o'er! Well--yes--here goes For a primitive chaste delight! Let us soberly, solemnly beat our foes, For Croquet's no longer "tight"! * * * * * ODE FOR THE MARRIAGE SEASON. II. "If any of you know Cause or impediment."-- Cause! I should think I do, That girl to wed I meant! She made me drink the cup Of woe, well-shaken up With bitter sediment. If I forbid the banns With visage pallid, Ere she's another man's, And I have rallied, Because in bygone days With me she dallied, Would my forbidding phrase Be counted valid?