Punch, or the London Charivari Volume 107, September 22nd, 1894Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari Volume 107, September 22nd, 1894
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Later in the evening I bought an evening paper, and was amazed to find
that the St. Leger had been won by _Throstle_ (the bird I had seen),
which had started at 50 to 1 (the exact minute at which my watch had
stopped)! Could the force of coincidence farther go? The Society of
Psychical Research and Mr. STEAD are welcome to this incident. The only
thing which troubles me at all is that the evidence (other than my own)
is a little slender. My wife is deaf, and never heard what I told her.
The bird has flown. My watch is going again. I inclose my card, and am,
Yours STEAD-Y to a degree,
ONE WHO WON NOTHING ON THE RACE.
* * * * *
Mr. Punch, on Peeler Piper.
["I wish," said Mr. LANE, the North London magistrate,
"to express my sense of the very great courage and resolution
exhibited by Constable PIPER in this case, under circumstances of
considerable pressure, danger, and exhaustion."--_Times' Police
Report, Sept. 12._]
Peeler PIPER prov'd his plucky pecker.
As Peeler PIPER prov'd his plucky pecker,
Where's there pluckier pecker
Than Peeler PIPER'S proved?
* * * * *
PROBABLE ANNOUNCEMENT.--New Book:--_A Mischievous Medlar._ By LESLIE
KEITH, the fruitful Author of _A Troublesome Pair_.
* * * * *
[Illustration: MANNERS.
"OH, THEN I MUST BE ON MY BEST BEHAVIOUR, I SUPPOSE?"
"CERTAINLY NOT. BE NATURAL, WHATEVER YOU ARE."]
* * * * *
A MOAN FROM MITCHAM
_(See "Indignant's" Letter in "Westminster Budget.")_
We once had a Common at Mitcham,
Where boys would bring wickets and pitch 'em,
That devouring wolf
The fanatic of golf
Established a club,
And--aye, there's the rub!--
The Conservators sacrificed needs of the
Public on purpose to help and enrich 'em!
The Common they soon will be shutting
In the interests of driving and "putting."
The balls fly about and hit kids in the eye,
And frighten old fogies, and make horses shy.
The public's "wired" out while the golfers "wire in,"
They have got lots of brass, but they pay little tin.
They drive sheep and cattle, and boys in their teens.
And nursemaids and prams off their bothering "Greens."
Oh, _Punch_, can't you pitch in, and pitch 'em,
These bores, off our Common at Mitcham?
Authority here at Monopoly winks,
But I am an old Mitcham-lover who thinks
That the Links on our Common should be _Missing_ Links!
* * * * *
Question and Answer.
_Ingoldsby's Question._
"TIGER TIM, come tell me true,
What may a nobleman find to do?"
_Modern Idiot's Answer._
Squeak out the "chestnut" (_he_'ll well know which!)
"I can't afford it; I'm far too rich!"
* * * * *
A HOPELESS CASE.
A VERY UN-VIRGILIAN PASTORAL ECLOGUE.
INTERLOCUTORS--_Ceres and a Northern Farmer, newest style._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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