THE PROFESSOR OF THE PERIOD. When DRUMMOND wrote of the Ascent of Man, He did not think of the Descent of Woman Upon his poor doomed head. The Assyrian Did not "come down" with wrath more superhuman, Or more like a fierce wolf upon the fold: Mrs. LYNN LINTON, sweetest mannered scold That ever heresy to judgment summoned, Hath had her dainty will, and drummed out DRUMMOND! Give us a gentle lady, without bias, To play Apollo to a new Marsyas! * * * * * [Illustration: PREHISTORIC PEEPS. THERE WERE OFTEN UNFORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCES WHICH GAVE TO THE HIGHLAND STALKING OF THOSE DAYS AN ADDED ZEST!] * * * * * BOWL ME NO MORE! (_An Unlucky Batsman's Lament after a Season of Slow Wickets._) AIR--"_Ask me no more._" Bowl me no more: the man may draw the stumps; The rain may swoop from heaven and swamp the crease; In folds of baize the bat may lie at peace; But oh, too fond of yorkers, breaks and bumps, Bowl me no more! Bowl me no more: 'tis dark at half-past five; The misty light betrays the keenest eye. O Cricket, dismal autumn bids thee die! Bowl me no more: Football is all alive; Bowl me no more! Bowl me no more: bat's fate and ball's is seal'd. I strove to make my thousand, all in vain: Like a great river ran the ceaseless rain, And spoiled the wickets. Lo, I leave the field Bowl me no more! * * * * * A DAY'S RIDE, A LAW'S ROMANCE. (_A Story of the Long Vacation._) "MR. BRIEFLESS," said an eminent solicitor to me the other day, "I want you to go to East Babbleton, in Guiltshire, to see if the Great Gooseberry Will case is still open. It is a matter of vital importance, and I shall be glad if you can attend to it to-morrow." Referring to PORTINGTON, I found that my diary was clear for the day specified, and I expressed my willingness to carry out my client's instructions. "I must know at once," continued the gentleman, "because I desire to bring the matter before the Vacation Judge on an originating summons. I need scarcely add, that you will get the fullest particulars from the parish clerk."