Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 107, September 29, 1894Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 107, September 29, 1894
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
It was a small dog-cart, which conjured up visions of the toy
waggon-and-horse department in the Lowther Arcade. There was a horse in
the shafts. The harness was imperfect, and the collar showed its straw.
However, I took my seat, and the boys got up beside me. Then, amidst the
good wishes of the wedding party watching our progress, I started. The
horse immediately took up a course over the pavement, and no doubt aware
that the illuminating power at East Babbleton was primitive, attempted
to carry with him a lamp-post. We cannoned off the pavement into the
middle of the road, and were fairly "off."
"If you boys laugh any more," I said, with the utmost severity, "I will
turn you out and leave you."
"But Papa, if mother could only see us!" cried the pair, and then they
indulged in apparently unextinguishable bursts of merriment.
I had no further time for remonstrance, as the brute of a horse, after
beginning in a trot, had suddenly quickened its pace to a mad gallop.
And as it did this I noticed that a dust-cart was just in front of us. I
dragged at the reins, and with almost superhuman exertions brought the
beast to a full stop.
"Which is the way to East Babbleton?" I asked, to explain my rather
abrupt pull-up. "Am I taking the right road?"
The dustman looked at me, at the horse, smiled, and answered in the
affirmative. Seeing that we were now about to descend a hill, I got down
and led the horse by its bridle. The brute resented the attention. So
far as I could judge, without being an expert in horse-flesh, it seemed
to me to be suffering from tooth-ache. It shook its head when I touched
it, and appeared to be disinclined to go further.
"Do get in, Papa," said EDWARD CLARKE RUSSELL. "Perhaps he will go all
right if you leave him alone."
Adopting my son's advice, I mounted the cart, and once again jerked the
reins. The beast began at a trot, and then, as before, commenced a mad
gallop. We rapidly left Nearvices behind us, and brought ourselves to a
stop in front of a haystack.
"You see," I said, "the brute is open to reason. It was stopped by an
obstruction. Seeing the futility of further progress, it desisted in its
running."
"But look, Papa, at that," cried GEORGE LEWIS HERSCHELL, pointing to
what seemed to be the remains of a coal cart. The wheels were off, the
black diamonds were scattered about in all directions, and the shafts
were broken.
"Was that an accident?" I asked an old man who was lighting his pipe.
The venerable individual paused, looked at the pipe, looked at the
pieces of the cart, and looked at me. Then he rubbed the right side of
his head with the palm of his right hand.
"Well, yes, it was," he admitted, in an accent I cannot reproduce; but
added, in a tone that suggested that mishaps of a similar character
occurred on the average every five minutes; "but _that_ accident
happened near an hour ago."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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