CHAPLIN viewing state of things depressing industrial communities admitted it was very bad. Mills closed, mines empty, ship-building yards silent, workmen starving. Only one thing would save the State--Bimetallism. "Is there anyone," said the orator with magnificent wave of arm round desolate benches; "who has any other suggestion to make for the salvation of these industries?" Then up spoke JEMMY LOWTHER. "I have," he said with final tug at the blade of the knife hidden in his pocket. CHAPLIN stood aghast. Could it be possible--his own familiar friend? He turned, looked down on him, gasping for breath. Then in a hollow voice he added, "What has my right hon. friend been doing all this time? Why doesn't he make his proposal?" Here was an opening for apology, recantation, or at least, submissive silence. But JEMMY evidently gone to the bad; got the bit between his teeth and bolted. "I've made it over and over again," he growled, thinking resentfully of his much crying in the wilderness for that blessed thing Protection. Ribald House roared with laughter. CHAPLIN, cut to heart, avoided repetition of painful incident by bringing oration to early conclusion. "Let's put this matter to practical test, TOBY," he said. "Come along with me, and we'll consult the Unemployed." Not far to go. On Westminster Bridge a hollow-cheeked man leaning over low wall stared at ice-floes silently gliding down with the tide. "My good man," said CHAPLIN, "you look unemployed, and I daresay you're hungry. Now, in order to put you straight, which would you rather have, Bimetallism or Protection?" "Well, if you don't mind, master," said the Unemployed huskily, "I'd like a chunk o' bread." "Ah!" said CHAPLIN, "these people are so illogical." And he gave him half-a-crown. _Business done._--Drifted into debate on Bimetallism. Business can wait. _Friday._--SQUIRE OF MALWOOD left sick room to take part in debate and division on JEFFREYS' Amendment to Address. Self-devotion dangerous on foggy, frosty night. But the result worth it, at least for crowded House that heard the speech. Best thing of the kind done in House since DIZZY'S prime. SQUIRE evidently profited by necessity for rapidity of composition. The sharpest barbs aimed at quivering figure of JOKIM sitting opposite. [Illustration: A Trifle for the Unemployed!] "Wot's this he means about stealing my clothes when I was bathing?" said HARDIE, with puzzled look. "With thirteen degrees of frost under the fog I DON'T KEIR less than ever about bathing. As for my clothes, they might suit PRINCE ARTHUR, but they wouldn't quite fit him." _Business done._--Amendment to Address defeated by twelve votes in House of 534 Members. * * * * * Superior Studies. _Literature and Philosophy Class for Female Students._ _Master._ What is the analogy between _Hamlet_ and MIRABEAU?