_Alfred._ What relation is a wife to her husband? None whatever. Now you, MOPSA, _you_ are very nearly a second cousin once removed, not quite--because our family is a thing so entirely apart. We have always had vowels (the very _best_ vowels) for our initials, and the same coloured spectacles, and poor relations we invariably cut, and great thick works we never get really on with. You take after your mother, KAIA. _Mopsa._ And my Aunt--she that was a Miss REBECCA WEST. I feel so irresistibly drawn to disturb other people's domestic harmony. But you must really forget me, and try to care for poor SPRETA a little. _Alfred_ (_vehemently_). It's no use. I _can't_. You've entranced me so thoroughly. (_Helplessly._) I _knew_ you would! Do let me remain here with you! [_Seizes her hand._ _Mopsa_ (_looks warmly at him_). Of course, if you really mean _that_, I cannot pretend that such comradeship is----Hush! let go my hand--there's somebody coming! [SPRETA _and_ BLOCHDRÄHN _enter in waterproofs, sharing the same umbrella_. _Alfred_ (_annoyed_). Why do you come bothering here? Surely you must see that such an interruption is _most_ ill-timed. _Spreta_ (_with a cutting laugh_). We did gather _that_, ALFRED. I came to see what you were about. _Alfred._ MOPSA was simply sympathising with me over Little MOPSËMAN'S disappearance--that was all. _Spreta._ Sympathising and philandering, ALFRED, are synonymous terms in the Norwegian Drama. And I may be allowed to observe that _other_ people can philander if they're driven to it. [_Glances at_ BLOCHDRÄHN. _Mopsa_ (_taking her umbrella quickly, to_ BLOCHDRÄHN). We seem to be somewhat _de trop_ here. Suppose we withdraw? [_They do._ _Spreta._ Doesn't it strike you, ALFRED, that all this morbid harping on that missing mongrel may be just a little monotonous--for a popular audience, I mean? _Alfred_ (_gloomily_). They'll have to sit through another Act and a half of it--that's all. I shall harp if I choose. I _like_ harping. And you always detested MOPSËMAN. You said he ate too much, and had evil eyes. _Spreta._ So he _did_--so he _had_! And _you_ never really and truly loved him either, or you would never have made such a fool of the dog as you did! _Alfred._ I had renounced my wonderful thick book. I needed _something_ to fill up my life! _Spreta._ You might have chosen something better than a miserable little poodle with no hair on his tail! _Alfred_ (_turns pale_). It is you--_you_, who were the guilty one in that. (_Harshly and coldly._) It was _your_ hand that spilt the hot water over him as he lay comfortably on the hearthrug. It _was!_ And you _know_ it! _Spreta_ (_terrified, yet defiant_). Better own at once that you came behind me and jogged my arm! _Alfred_ (_in suppressed desperation_). Yes, that is true. You looked so entrancingly beautiful as you were putting the kettle on for tea, that I was irresistibly impelled to kiss you!