[Several newspapers have been roused to a sense of their duties to their readers by the insurance competition between _The Chronicle_ and _The Mail_. We make a few preliminary announcements of other insurance schemes which are not yet contemplated.] _VOTES FOR WOMEN_.--A copy of the current issue nailed to your front door insures you absolutely against arson. _THE STAR_.--All regular subscribers to _The Star_ are insured with the proprietors of _The Daily News_ for £1,000 in the event of being welshed on any race-course. _THE NATIONAL REVIEW_.--Annual subscribers to _The National Review_ are guaranteed £10,000 in the event of being (a) robbed on the highway by a member of the present Ministry; (b) defrauded by a member of the present Ministry; (c) having house burgled by member of the present Ministry; (d) having pocket picked by member of present Ministry; always excluding any act or acts done by the CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER in a strictly official capacity. _THE CHURCH TIMES_.--All regular subscribers are insured for £500 against excommunication. £1,000 will be paid to the heirs or assigns of any reader who loses his head in a conflict with a Bishop (Deans, Rural Deans, Canons and Archdeacons being excepted from the benefit of this clause in the policy). _THE ENGLISH REVIEW_.--Poetic contributors are insured for £500 in the event of a prosecution under the Blasphemy Laws. _THE DAILY EXPRESS_.--You can sleep soundly in your bed, you can sleep soundly in your train, if the current issue of _The Daily Express_ be on your person. All purchasers are insured for £10,000 against any conflagrations or explosions caused by bombs or combustibles dropped from German airships. _THE BRITISH WEEKLY_.--All readers of _The British Weekly_ are insured for £1,000 in the event of heart-failure caused by shock while reading the thrilling stories provided by SILAS, JOSEPH, TIMOTHY and JEREMIAH HOCKING. _THE RECORD_.--£500 will be paid to any annual subscriber forcibly detained in a convent, provided that at the time of such detention a copy of the current issue of _The Record_ be in his possession. £1,000 will be paid to the legal representatives of any reader burnt at the stake. _THE CRICCIETH CHRONICLE_.--£3 a week for life, together with a poultry farm on a Sutherland deer-forest, to the owner of any shorn lamb which is found dead in a snow-drift with a copy of the current issue wrapt round it, to keep it warm. * * * * * The great world rolls on, but of the master-brains which direct its movement the man in the street knows nothing. He has never heard of the Clerk of the Portland Urban District Council; he is entirely ignorant of Army Order 701. "Dear Sir" (writes the Clerk)--"A meeting of the Underhill Members of the Council will be held to-morrow (Saturday), at 3 o'clock p.m., in Spring Gardens (Fortuneswell) for the purpose of selecting a site for the Telegraph Post."