(9) State how long you have been a subscriber to the journal you are electing to honour, and whether you think it's worth the money. Point out any little improvements you consider desirable in its compilation, and mention other periodicals as perfect examples. Preface these remarks with some such phrase as this: "Pray don't think I want to teach you your business, but--" (10) Give full list (names and addresses) of friends who have promised to buy the paper if your contribution appears. (11) Give a brief outline, in faultless English, of your religious, political and police court convictions, your views on Mr. LLOYD GEORGE, and any ideas you may have about the Law of Copyright. Finally, enclose a stamped and addressed envelope for the return of your article. * * * * * "It has always been supposed that Charles I. when Prince of Wales and travelling incognito with the Duke of Buckingham saw and fell in love with Marie Antoinette." Not by us. We always supposed he fell in love with SARAH BERNHARDT. * * * * * THE SAME OLD STORY. We stood in a circle round the parrot's cage and gazed with interest at its occupant. She (Evangeline) was balancing easily on one leg, while with the other leg and her beak she tried to peel a monkey-nut. There are some of us who hate to be watched at meals, particularly when dealing with the dessert, but Evangeline is not of our number. "There," said Mrs. Atherley, "isn't she a beauty?" I felt that, as the last to be introduced, I ought to say something. "What do you say to a parrot?" I whispered to Miss Atherley. "Have a banana," suggested Archie. "I believe you say, 'Scratch-a-poll,'" said Miss Atherley, "but I don't know why." "Isn't that rather dangerous? Suppose it retorted 'Scratch your own,' I shouldn't know a bit how to go on." "It can't talk," said Archie. "It's quite a baby--only seven months old. But it's no good showing it your watch; you must think of some other way of amusing it." "Break it to me, Archie. Have I been asked down solely to amuse the parrot, or did any of you others want to see me?" "Only the parrot," said Archie. Evangeline paid no attention to us. She continued to wrestle with the monkey-nut. I should say that she was a bird not easily amused. "Can't it really talk at all?" I asked Mrs. Atherley. "Not yet. You see, she's only just come over from South America, and isn't used to the climate yet." "Just the person you'd expect to talk a lot about the weather. I believe you've been had. Write a little note to the poulterers and ask if you can change it. You've got a bad one by mistake." "We got it as a bird," said Mrs. Atherley with dignity, "not as a gramophone." The next morning Evangeline was as silent as ever. Miss Atherley and I surveyed it after breakfast. It was still grappling with a monkey-nut, but no doubt a different one.