Chum smiled all over himself. I don't know which pleased him more--the suggestion that he was a very large and fierce dog, or the impossibility now of his travelling with the guard, delightful man though he might be. He gave himself a shake and started for the door. "Tut, tut, it's a great disappointment to me," he said, trying to look disappointed, but his back _would_ wriggle. "This chain business--silly of us not * * * * * [Illustration: THE BLACK MAN'S BURDEN. REFRAIN BY NATIVES OF SOUTH AFRICA AND KIKUYU.] * * * * * [Illustration: _Kindly Hostess_ (_to nervous reciter who has broken down in "The Charge of the Light Brigade"_). "NEVER MIND MR. TOMPKINS, JUST TELL US IT IN YOUR OWN WORDS."] * * * * * to have known--well, well, we shall be wiser another time. Now let's go home." Poor old Chum; I _had_ known. From a large coat pocket I produced a chain. "_Dash_ it," said Chum, looking up at me pathetically, "you might almost _want_ to get rid of me." He was chained, and the label tied on to him. Forgive me that label, Chum; I think that was the worst offence of all. And why should I label one who was speaking so eloquently for himself; who said from the tip of his little black nose to the end of his stumpy black tail, "I'm a silly old ass, but there's nothing wrong in me, and they're sending me away!" But according to the regulations--one must obey the regulations, Chum. I gave him to the guard--a delightful man. The guard and I chained him to a brake or something. Then the guard went away, and Chum and I had a little talk ... After that the train went off. Good-bye, little dog. A.A.M. * * * * * "Lady Strachie wishes to thoroughly recommend her permanent Caretaker and Husband."--_Advt. in "Morning Post."_ Lord STRACHIE should be a proud man to-day. * * * * * HOW GREAT MEN SHOW EMOTION. [Mr. HANDEL BOOTH, speaking in Hyde Park recently, declared that, when he informed Lord ABERDEEN of the conduct of the police during the Dublin riots, the Lord Lieutenant "buried his head in his hands."] Mr. Leo Maxixe, writing in _The Irrational Review_, states that he has it on the best authority that when the GERMAN EMPEROR read the Criccieth New Year's interview with Mr. LLOYD GEORGE he exclaimed, "This beats the Tango," and fell heavily on the hearthrug. Mr. James Larvin, addressing a meeting of the Confederates at the Saveloy Hotel, informed his hearers that when Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL read the article in _The Daily Mail_ on his future he stood on his head in the corner for three minutes, to the great embarrassment of Sir FRANCIS HOPWOOD, who was present.