A peculiarly touching instance of patriotism has been brought to our notice. A London barber whose measurements are too puny to allow of his being accepted as a recruit has written to the War Office offering to barb some wire for them in his spare time. * * * "Mr. KEIR HARDIE," says a bulletin, "was yesterday reported to be gradually improving." But we are afraid that this only refers to his health. * * * An Englishman had suddenly to exercise all his tact the other day. He was in Kensington Gardens with a Belgian refugee. "What's that?" he asked, pointing to the Albert Memorial. The Englishman explained. "What, already a monument to our brave King!" cried the Belgian as he embraced his friend. The Englishman, with admirable reticence, said nothing. * * * "A Turkish advance guard," says a telegram, "has occupied Tabriz." Very plucky of him, and his name ought to be published. Can it be dear old Turkish Reggie? * * * The _Vorwärts_ computes that the War is costing nine millions a day. Small wonder if, in these hard times, one or two countries look upon war as a luxury which they ought to try to get on without. * * * "As there is every probability," we read, "that the child population of Kensington will decline in the future owing to the migration of families to the outer suburbs, the L.C.C. proposes to meet the present demand for a new school by building a 'short-life school,' one that will last but twenty years." The difficulty, of course, will be so to construct it that it will collapse gently on the last day of its twentieth year, and the problem threatens to tax to the utmost the ingenuity of our jerry-builders. * * * * * During a "stormy scene" in Stirling School Board, Councillor BARKER, according to _The Glasgow Evening Times_, "refused to withdraw, alleging that Mr. Reid taunted him on the streets as being an Alpine Purist." "Alpine purist" is a term of abuse with which _Mr. Punch_ has never sullied his lips, though once he nearly referred to a very tedious bishop as a cis-Carpathian pedagogue. * * * * * NOTICE. The advertisement which appeared in our last week's issue, opposing the principle of the inoculation of soldiers against typhoid, came in very late, and unfortunately its contents were not submitted to the Secretary, who was merely told of the source from which it came--namely, the Anti-Vivisection Society. _Mr. Punch_ is himself absolutely in favour of inoculation against typhoid for the troops. * * * * * TO "GENERAL JANVIER." ("_In the Spring a young man's fancy ..._") At it, old warrior! do your worst! Here's Fevrier coming, moist and blowy, And any trench you leave for him Not saturated to the brim He will accommodate its thirst As in the days of NOË.