"'Military law,' I says to 'im myself, 'makes 'avoc o' freedom--so it do. But with they Germans at your very gates,' I says, 'freedom ain't the same thing as a clean pair of 'eels. An' a pig's an awkward customer to drive in an 'urry,' I says." "Ain't to be done--not really brisk like, any'ow." "'E seed that, o' course?" "Wouldn't say so, any way. An' the names 'e called the Government, or 'ooever 'twas as 'anded round them orders, fair surprised us all. Never knew the old chap could lay 'is tongue to the 'alf of it." "If ever they Germans get 'ereabout there'll be trouble for the Government about old George." "'E ain't got chick nor child, yer see. A man can't get on without something... Why, 'ere _be_ George." "Evening, George. You come right in an' 'ave your pint, George." "I earnt my pint to-day--so I 'ave. Busiest day's work I done this side o' my wife's passing away, poor soul." "What you been doing, George?" "She were a one to keep you busy like. If she be really resting now I reckon she be pretty miserable. 'Owever, that ain't neither 'ere nor there." "You tell us what you been up to, George. We only been talking o' you when in you walks as large as life." "We been talking o' you an' these 'ere orders, George, an' we feels with you to a man. If you should 'ave to kill that fine sow o' yours along of a lot o' 'ungry Germans 'twill be a mortal shame." "I shan't never kill 'er for no Germans, so I promises you." "Then they'll do the killing theirselves--they be dabsters at that." "No Germans ain't going to kill my sow. Nor I ain't going to kill 'er in an 'urry to please nobody." "You'll get yourself in the wrong box, George, if you don't mind." "You be too venturesome, George--at your old age." "An' you a pensioner, too. Don't do to be too venturesome when you're well stricken in years." "I know what I be saying, though, for all that. Don't do to wait till you 'ave to waste a good pig--all for nothing like. Good money she be worth, an' I says to myself, 'You 'ave the money now, my boy, as the old sow 'll fetch, before it be too late.' My old sow be pretty nigh pork by now, up at butcher's." * * * * * THE INVASION. Between Mortimer and us yawns a great gulf, bridged by many flights of stairs. Even on the illuminated board at the foot of the lowest stairs we still keep our distance, but with this difference, that while Mortimer's position in the world is higher than mine, on the board I stand above him by as many names as there are stairs between us. Mortimer first floated into my orbit one day when we both met in the porter's lodge to complain about the dustbin. Even after this I should have gone contentedly down to my grave with no further knowledge of the man than that he had a wife and four children. I knew that because I heard him tell the porter so.