[Illustration: GVLIELMVS · MAXIMVS · ORBIS · TERRARVM · IMPERATOR · Vol. CXLVIII. LONDON: PUBLISHED AT THE OFFICE, 10, BOUVERIE STREET, AND SOLD BY ALL BOOKSELLERS. 1915.] * * * * * [Illustration: The Whitefriars Press.] Bradbury, Agnew & Co., Printers, London and Tonbridge. * * * * * [Illustration: THE GOD IN THE CART. (_An Unrehearsed Effect._) TURKEY. "I'M GETTING A BIT FED UP WITH THIS. I SHALL KICK SOON." AUSTRIA. "WELL, I WAS THINKING OF LYING DOWN."] * * * * * Punch, Or The London Charivari Volume 148, January 6th, 1915 [Illustration: VOL. CXLVIII] * * * * * NOTES ON NEWS. BY A CYNIC. The news that fills our daily files From special correspondents--miles Behind the Front--perchance beguiles The simple, but the sceptic riles. The news from Rott- or Amst-erdam Has German powder in its jam. The news from Petrograd, when fine And large, 'tis wiser to decline Without the GRAND DUKE'S countersign. The Russian news that comes from Rome Is as romantic as a pome. The news that comes from Austrian sources MÜNCHHAUSEN'S shade alone endorses. The news from Nish upon Vienna Acts somewhat like the tea of senna. News from Vienna wakes in Nish The exclamation "Tush!" or "Pish!" On Turkish telegrams, _qua_ fiction, We may bestow our benediction; They match (their humour is so tireless) The exploits of the German Wireless. In fine, the cautious type eschews, As wholly prejudicial To his enlightenment, all news Save the Allies' official. * * * * * "The National Gallery had an unwonted experience. Quite a number of people, among them a church dignitary in garters, were inspecting its masterpieces."--_Evening News._ No mention is made of ourselves--a Press dignitary in sock-suspenders. * * * * * FROM THE NEUTRAL NATIONS. [The recent boom in the export of copper from America to the neutral nations is very significant. If the enemy's supplies of this article--an essential in the manufacture of cartridges, etc.--were cut off, the war would come to a speedy end. The figures for September and October, 1914, show an increase of nearly 400 per cent. over the corresponding figures for 1913.] O Britain, guardian of the seas, Whose gallant ships (may Heaven speed 'em) Defend the wide world's liberties Against the common foe of Freedom; Doubt not where our true feelings lie; We would not have you come a cropper, Although it suits us to supply That common foe with copper.