* * * * * [Illustration: ECONOMY. _McTavish_ (_to convalescent soldier_). "I WAS HEARIN' YE HAD A BULLET IN YE YET. ARE YE NO GAWN TA HAE IT TAEN OOT?" _Soldier._ "NO THE NOO. YE SEE, I'LL BE GAWN BACK TAE THE FR-RONT IN A WEE WHILE, AN' WHEN I COME BACK I'LL JUST HAE THEM A' OOT THEGITHER!"] * * * * * From a speech reported in the _Widnes Gazette:_-- "The character of this little nation is now what it was when Julius Cesar wrote 'De tous les peuples de la Gaule les Belges sont les plus braves.'" It was in the same spirit of compliment to the country he was invading that HANNIBAL wrote "Longa est via ad Tipperariam" as he began to slide down the Alps. "Mrs. Francis M. Cunliffe, writes from Southport:--To the unknown person or persons that sent three body belts. I beg to thank you most sincerely for your generous gift to the 9th (Reserve) Battalion Manchester Regiment. It will add greatly to the comfort of four men, and will be much appreciated by them."--_Ashton-under-Lyne Reporter._ With three-quarters of a body-belt apiece they should do splendidly. * * * * * A French interpreter with the Expeditionary Force sends us the following notice which he saw, he says, on the office door of the A.S.C.:-- "The waiter is not allowed to be drunk unless boiled before." But boiling before is not really so good as a cold douche after. * * * * * The following directions for the right use of the "Snapseal Patent" are printed inside the pass-book envelopes issued by Lloyds Bank:-- "First wet the gum, then insert the tongue into lock and draw until you hear it snap." After doing this once you may prefer to let your tongue, after it has wetted the gum, return to its usual position within the mouth. * * * * * FURTHER NOTES BY A WAR-DOG. My name's "Scottie." I'm a collie and wear a box in which I collect contributions for the National Relief Fund. Probably you've met me--and, I hope, contributed. Not long ago, so Mabel told a friend the other day, a few of my early experiences were published in a book called _Punch_. I've had heaps more since then. I'm getting quite an old hand at the piteous "Won't-you-spare-me-something?" look. For one thing, I've learnt to let people put _anything_ into my box. Once I got a penny (from a little girl) that turned out, when the box was opened, to be chocolate. A bit cocoa-y by then, but still eatable. But my best haul was during my--and Mabel's--weekend by the sea.