"Just a part of the general scheme of getting the War into people's minds," he said. "The darkening of London, the closing of the public-houses, the defective cab windows--they're all of a piece. Only the cab-window trick is the most useful." "How?" I asked. "Well, it hardens you," he said. "It accustoms you to cold and wet, and that's all to the good." So now I know. * * * * * "Around Souraine there have been violet combats.... We have made considerable progress in the region."--French communiqué, as reported in _The Western Evening Herald._ We know that Battles of Flowers are a speciality of our comrades of France, and we are not surprised to hear that the enemy was beaten at this exchange of gallantries. * * * * * ELEVEN SECONDS. The word "schedule" always bothers me; when I see it on an income-tax paper I lose my head. In my confusion I sign my name lavishly. I confess to profits from trades, professions, employments _and_ vocations; I reveal the presence of unsuspected gas-works, quarries, salt-springs, alum mines, streams of water, ferries, cemeteries and "other concerns of the like nature within the United Kingdom"; no secret is made of my colonial and foreign possessions. Wherever I see an inviting gap I slip in a few figures.... Then the assessor looks at my paper and tells me what I ought to give him. This year things went worse than ever. I got some noughts in the wrong place; a whole lot of gaps headed "Claim for Relief in Respect of Earned Income," which I had supplied with particular liberality, went by the board, all because I hadn't noticed in the preambulation some foolish date "before which any claim must be preferred." Those two accidents practically doubled my little tax ... and then LLOYD GEORGE went and doubled it again. It began to look as if it would be cheaper to pay income on my income-tax instead of the other way round. "Celia," I said, "we're ruined. Cancel any orders for potted salmon; we shall have to live simply in future." And I told her just what the tax-gatherer had asked for. "But why do we have to pay so much?" she asked. "Partly because of the KAISER, and partly because of me. History will apportion the blame." Celia seemed prepared to anticipate History. "Don't forget," I went on hastily, "that the money will be well spent. If I had to make a fool of myself, I would sooner have done it this year than any other. It is a privilege to pay for a war like this." Celia looked thoughtful. "How much does the war cost England?" she asked. "Oh, lots. I think it mentioned the exact figures in _The Times_ this morning. They'll be only too glad of my little contribution." She retired in search of _The Times_. * * * * *