"Poor little foal of a despised race"-- Thus in an earlier day a poet broke Into blank verse about thee, and awoke Compassion for thy patient, pleading face. But time thy ancient burden of disgrace Has ta'en away long since, and, though in joke Sometimes we may address thee as "the moke," No more we seek thy service to debase. For thou art changed, O much-enduring ass! No longer scorned but honoured in our day, When an entire and influential class-- Our politicians--emulate thy bray; Whilst thou, in bland reciprocal salute, Hast tuned thy note to mock the motor's hoot. * * * * * "The balloon immediately began to drift over the enemy's lines. Although he threw his rifle, field glasses, and everything movable overboard, the balloon went still higher." _Continental Daily Mail._ Well, what did he expect? * * * * * "APPRENTICE.--Smart Lad to learn up-to-date business; must be mechanically bent." _Liverpool Echo._ The simple plan of putting him across your knee will not suffice. * * * * * From a review of Sir CHARLES WALDSTEIN'S _Aristodemocracy_ in an evening paper:-- "That, however, is only a side-issue in a volume which treats the provident questions of politics with perfect humility and with much persecution. It is a book which, as we began by saying, deserves a much better title." Some people might even say that it deserved a better reviewer. * * * * * The Chalmers Invasion. With Sir ROBERT CHALMERS as the new Irish Under-Secretary and Sir MACKENZIE CHALMERS (no relation) as one of the members of the Commission of Enquiry into the Rebellion, Ireland no doubt will find another grievance, singing: How happy could I be with either, Were t' other dear Chalmers away! * * * * * [Illustration: _Expert in Military Matters._ "HE SAID HE WAS AN ORFICER; BUT I KNEW HE WASN'T, COS HE HADN'T A BUSTER BROWN BELT ON."] * * * * * THE WATCH DOGS. XL. MY DEAR CHARLES,--The weather has changed and War has resumed a less uncomfortable aspect. The last I heard of our friend Persius Adolphus (now promoted to the giddy heights of Second-Lieutenant, but still referred to, in the privacy of the traverse, as "Perse") he was living _al fresco_ in his little bit of trench, leading the sinful life with a pot of _páté de foie gras_ in the one hand and the latest number of _La Vie Parisienne_ in the other. It takes a lot of H.E. to distract a man's attention from these luxuries, which goes to show that, if at times it is a short life, it is in spring a merry one, and a twenty-franc note will in these parts provide a man with all the most extravagant pleasures of the idle rich for a month.