Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 150, May 24, 1916Various
History
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 150, May 24, 1916
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
"Seems to Oi the right crop for such a wunnerful crooked furrow as yon
'ud be _tares_," said the horrid old thing; "but happen you don't know
what tares be--happen you don't read your Bible."
I was starting up the field again by that time and paid no more
attention to him. The oldest inhabitant is _proverbially_ a most
unpleasant character, I believe. Beryl and Babs are also doing very
well down here. And now that we've learned all about farming and
agriculture we're training _numbers_ of girls and putting them on the
land, (_Entre nous, chérie_, it's not so difficult to _put_ them on
the land as to _keep_ them on it. Some of them are a wee bit inclined
to "put their hands to the plough and look black," to quote dear
SHAKSPEARE, that we've all been talking of so much lately.) Beryl
has developed positively _shining_ gifts as a _drover_. She drives
cattle into the nearest market town twice a week, and does it _à
merveille_. (I _can't_ say the dear thing's drover's coat and hat are
becoming--indeed, I never saw her look worse!) She has a large class of
women and girls learning to be drovers. But unluckily, the other day,
there was a regrettable little affair. Beryl was taking a big herd of
cattle along to the market town, with her class in attendance, when one
of the bullocks stopped to nibble at the hedge. Beryl told a girl in
the class to give it a tap and send it on.
"I'm afraid to," said the girl.
"Oh," said Beryl, "you city girls are duffers at country life! What's
there to be afraid of?" and she went up to the bullock and gave it a
smart whack with her drover's stick. "Come," said, "no nonsense! Go on
with the others," and she gave it a harder whack.
In a moment the creature turned upon her with a simply _odious_
expression in its eyes and began to bellow; and _then_,
dearest--_wasn't_ it a pity?--Beryl suddenly lost her nerve, dropped
her drover's stick, and climbed to the top of a big gate near at hand,
while the class ran back along the road, shrieking. As for the cattle,
terrified by the shrieks of the class, they took to their heels (if
they have such things), and were finally stopped by a farmer, who
drove them into the market himself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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