Everyone's _furious_ at the way the powers that be have treated Sybil Easthampton. You know what a wonderful thing her Ollyoola Love Dance is. Of course she's lived among the Ollyoolas and knows them in all their moods. (They're natives somewhere ever and ever so far off, where there are palms and coral reefs, and the people don't believe in wrapping themselves up much.) And so she's given the dance at a great many War Fund matinees. That little Mrs. Jimmy Sharpe, daring to criticise it, said there was too much Ollyoola and not enough dance; but everybody who _counts_ simply raves about it. And then, when some manager person offered Sybil big terms to do it at the "Incandescent," he was "officially informed" that, if the Ollyoola Love Dance went into the bill the "Incandescent" would be "placed out of bounds"! What do you, _do_ you think of that, _m'amie_? A piece of sheer _artistry_ like the Ollyoola Love Dance to be treated so! And it's wonderful not only artistically but scientifically. Each of dear Sybil's amazing wriggles and squirms and crouches and springs is _absolutely_ true--_exactly_ what an Ollyoola _does_ when it's in love. We're all glad to think we can _still_ see the Ollyoola Love Dance at War Fund matinées. Ever thine, BLANCHE. * * * * * THE SECRETS OF THE SALES. "A splendid line in corsets, in fine white coutil, usually sold at 14s. 11d., are offered sale at 17s. 11d. each."--_Fashions for All._ * * * * * "BRITISH HARRY THE ENEMY."--_Provincial Paper._ And all this time the Germans have been under the impression that it was British Tommy. * * * * * [Illustration: ALIMENTARY INTELLIGENCE. MR. PUNCH. "DO YOU CONTROL FOOD HERE?" COMMISSIONAIRE. "WELL, SIR, 'CONTROL' IS PERHAPS RATHER A STRONG WORD. BUT WE GIVE HINTS TO HOUSEHOLDERS, AND WE ISSUE 'GRAVE WARNINGS.'" (Mr. Punch, however, is glad to note that more drastic regulations are about to be enforced.)] * * * * * THE WATCH DOGS. LIX. MY DEAR CHARLES,--Reference the German withdrawal. The matter is proceeding in machine-like order, and one of the first great men to cross No-Man's Land was myself in the noblest of cars. It was, I confess, a purely temporary and fortuitous arrangement which put me in such a conveyance, but I had the feeling that it was excellently fitted to my particular form of greatness, and there were moments when I was so enamoured of it that I was on the verge of getting into a hole with it and staying hid there till the end of the War. Just the right hole was provided at every cross-roads, but the driver wouldn't try them and went round by the fields.