It seems perhaps a little worldly to return to the subject of tea, but doctors are worldly creatures. However, at this point the doom of the gods descended, for there was no tea to be obtained, only coffee; no bread-and- butter, only little hard biscuits; and the cups, though certainly china, were but little larger than liqueur-glasses. But one of us at least was impervious to disappointments. The War Babe sat silently, with the kitten in his lap, like a seer of visions, until, just as we were about to leave, an impulse suddenly galvanized him. "I'll pay," he said, and marched into the inner room.... * * * * * [Illustration: _Victim._ "CONFOUND YOUR DOG, MADAM! IT'S NEARLY BITTEN A PIECE OUT OF MY LEG." _Owner_ (_distressed_). "I AM TRULY SORRY, SIR. NAUGHTY LITTLE DAPHNE! AFTER ALL MY EFFORTS TO MAKE WEDNESDAY YOUR MEATLESS DAY."] * * * * * DOMESTIC STRATEGY. _Mr. Meanly._ My dear, I see that _The People's Adviser_ is inviting its readers to send details of their individual food reforms for publication. _Pour encourager les autres._ Just tell me what our rules are. _Mrs. Meanly._ Certainly, dear. We have meat only on two days a week; potatoes only on two days a week (_and so on_). _Mr. Meanly._ Good. I will write a letter. And then the day after it appears in print you might send out invitations to dinner. There are a lot of arrears to make up and we'll clear them off now. Say a series of three parties. _Mrs. Meanly._ But, dear, ought we to do it in war-time? _Mr. Meanly._ After the publication of our system of meals, it will be quite safe to send the invitations, my love. * * * * * A CURRENT EVENT. Years ago Mr. Punch, in a moment of inspiration (I wrote the article myself), suggested that some benevolent American millionaire might alter the course of the Gulf Stream so that it flowed right round these islands. In the eye of imagination he saw date palms bordering the Strand, costers sitting under their own banana trees, and stately cavalcades of camels bearing wearied City men to Balham or Putney. (Unhappily he could not look so far into the future as to forecast the allotment holders returning home laden with sugar-canes). Now a writer in _The Times_ suggests that the chill of the present season is due to the effect of the Panama Canal on the Gulf Stream. This is an insidious attempt to make bad blood between ourselves and our new allies. We could only feel the bitterest hostility towards anyone in any way responsible for the present season. Why, this spring has spread such devastation through the land that writers of nature notes have been unable to pay their plumbers' bills.