* * * * * "CHAPLAIN ---- ASKS GUIDANCE FOR THE AUTHORITIES. Prays that recent events may be prevented."--_Baltimore News._ Surely this is asking too much. * * * * * "British troops in Macedonia are now in possession of Deltawah and Sindiyah, some thirty-five miles north of Bagdad, and of Falluyah on the Euphrates, thirty-six miles west of Bagdad."--_Sunday Paper._ We know on _Fluellen's_ authority that Macedon and Monmouth are very much alike; and so, it seems, is Mesopotamia. * * * * * BACK TO THE LAND. The wintry days are with us still; The roads are deep in liquid dirt; The rain is wet, the wind is chill, And both are coming through my shirt; And yet my heart is light and gay; I shout aloud, I hum a snatch; Why am I full of mirth? To-day I'm planting my potato patch. The KAISER sits and bites his nails In Pots- (or some adjoining) dam; He wonders why his peace talk fails And how to cope with Uncle Sam; The General Staff has got the hump; In vain each wicked scheme they hatch; I've handed them the final thump By planting my potato patch. The U-boat creeps beneath the sea And puts the unarmed freighters down; It fills the German heart with glee To see the helpless sailors drown; But now and then a ship lets fly To show that Fritz has met his match! She's done her bit, and so have I Who dig in my potato patch. And later, when the War is won And each man murmurs, "Well, that's that," And reckons up what he has done To put the Germans on the mat, I'll say, "It took ten myriad guns And fighting vessels by the batch; But we too served, we ancient ones, Who dug in our potato patch." ALGOL. * * * * * "IT." PHASE I. The doctor says, perfectly cheerfully and as though it were really not a matter of vital importance, that there is no doubt that I have got IT. He remarks that IT is all over the place, and that he has a couple of hundred other cases at the present time. I resent his attitude as far as I have strength to do anything at all. I did not give permission for him to be called in just to have my sufferings brushed aside like this. He only stays about three minutes altogether, during which time he relates two funny stories (at least I suppose they are funny, because my nurse laughs; I can't see any point in them myself), and makes several futile remarks about the War. As though the War were a matter of importance by comparison! Then he goes, talking breezily all the way down the stairs. Well, I think darkly, they will be sorry presently. I have no intention or expectation of getting better, and when they see me a fair young corpse then they'll know.