Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Keith Edkins and the PG Online Distributed Proofreading Team. PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. VOL. 152. April 25th, 1917. CHARIVARIA. THE _Gazette des Ardennes_ states that German is becoming a more and more "popular tongue" in the occupied districts. The inhabitants, we understand, are looking forward with great pleasure to telling the Huns in German what they have always thought of them in French. *** It is now reported that, following the example of Professor SMYTHE, of Chicago, a number of distinguished Americans have bequeathed their brains to the Cornell Institute for scientific research. The rumour that the German CROWN PRINCE has offered the contents of his headpiece awaits confirmation. *** The British offensive has been arrested, says the _Vossische Zeitung_. Presumably for exceeding the speed limit. *** A gossip-writer says he is of the opinion that there will be a great revolution in Germany and that the KAISER will be at the head of it. It would be only decent to give him, say, a couple of lengths start. *** Over one million persons visited the Zoo last year. The chief attraction appears to have been a German gentleman from the Cameroons who is being accommodated in the Monkey House. *** A North London employer is advertising for men "any age up to one hundred years." The nature of the employment is not stated, but it is generally assumed to be akin to that of our telegraph boys. *** A woman shopper in Regent Street one day last week was accompanied by a white parrot. It is thought that this example will be widely followed by people who are not particularly good at repartee. *** Count REVENTLOW has informed the KAISER that without victory a continuation of the Monarchy is improbable. The KAISER is expected to retort that without the Monarchy the continuation of Count REVENTLOW is still more precarious. *** "Have you not thought," asked a distinguished cleric recently, "that all this bad weather may be a punishment for working on Sundays?" For our part we are convinced that our cynical abandonment of the sacred practice of throwing rice at weddings has had something to do with it. *** It was stated in Parliament last week that up to April 6th only 2,800 persons had been placed in employment by the National Service Department. The Government, it was felt, could have done better than that by the simple process of creating another new Department. *** [Illustration: SCOTLAND FOR EVER!] *** The _Journal_ in a recent message states that the British have ample supplies of ammunition. The Germans near St. Quentin and Lens also incline to this view. *** A resident of Northfleet, who wrote to a friend in Philadelphia in 1893, has just had the letter returned to him through the American Dead Letter Office. It is only fair to state that the letter was not marked "Urgent." ***