"That's all right," he said, recovering himself in a moment "All properly constructed dials have a compensating table; we shall find one no doubt behind the ivy; there! I see it, to the left--a compensating table by which you have to correct the actual record of the shadow. For example, we are now in Lat. 55 N. The month is April. At Greenwich--" But I wasn't listening. A bright truth had flashed into my mind, and I couldn't hold myself back any longer. "It's just about an hour slow," I said. "You don't think that Daylight Saving has anything to do with it, do you?" * * * * * [Illustration: _Busdriver._--"ALL RIGHT--ALL RIGHT! I SEE YER, YER NEEDN'T KEEP ON SURRENDERING."] * * * * * "About twenty-four hours later one of the ship's officers saw something bobbing on the water a few hundred years dead ahead."--_New York Evening Post._ America evidently foresees a long war. * * * * * THE STRIFE OF TONGUES. (_Lines suggested by the recent demise of the inventor of Esperanto._) As a patriotic Briton I am naturally smitten With disgust When some universal lingo By a zealous anti-Jingo Is discussed. Some there are who hold that Spanish In the end is bound to banish Other tongues; Some again regard Slavonic As a stimulating tonic For the lungs. I would sooner bank on Tuscan, Ay, or even on Etruscan, Than on Erse; But fanatical campaigners, Gaelic Leaguers and Sinn Feiners Find it terse. Some are moved to have a shy at Persian, thanks to the _Rubaiyat_, And its ease; But it's quite another matter If you're anxious for to chatter In Chinese. To instruct a brainy brat in Canine or colloquial Latin _May_ be wise; But it's not an education As a fruitful speculation I'd advise. French? All elegance equips it, But how oft on foreign lips it Runs awry; German, tainted, execrated, Is for ages relegated To the sty. As for brand-new tongues invented By professors discontented With the old, Well, the prospect of a "panto" Played and sung in Esperanto Leaves me cold. * * * * * "One of the most striking--and satisfactory--features of the new restaurant regime is the disappearance of the bread-basket."--_Daily Telegraph._ Or, at any rate, a considerable shrinkage in its contour. * * * * * "If there must be duplication of electric light installations, the apparati might, at least, be made uniform. And it would not be expecting too much if they were made in some way to harmonise with the telephone service."--_Australian Paper._ Or even with the Latin Grammar? * * * * * "5-Seater Car for Sale; must sell; chauffeur at the Front; own body cost over L73. What offers?--RECTOR."--_Times._