The days of decorative art are done That made the toothsome biscuit more enticing (Even our wedding-cake when we are one Will be denuded of its outer icing); Yea, purest joy of all that we resign, A ban is laid upon the luscious tartlet By him who has for your sweet tooth and mine No mercy in his heartlet. And yet, if England, in her night of need, Debauched by pastry-cook and muffin-monger, Would have us curb our natural gift of greed And merely mitigate the pangs of hunger, Let us renounce life's sweetness from to-day, And turn, for Hobson's choice, to something higher; "Good-bye, Criterion!" let us bravely say, And "Farewell, Rumpelmeyer!" O.S. * * * * * A PROPER PROPORTION. (_An Interview with Mr. H.G. WELLS_). I found the Sage, as I had expected, in his study at Omniscience Lodge. There he sat in his new suit of Britlings, surrounded by novels and stories in MS. dealing with every aspect of human affairs, sixty of the more important being specifically devoted to the War and the various ways in which it might conceivably terminate. I modestly approached and presented myself. "You have come," he said with a courteous gesture, "to discover my views on the present conflict?" "Not exactly," I said. "Ah," he said; "which is it, then? You can take your choice, you know. All you have to do is to select the subject," and he handed me a volume resembling _Kelly's Directory_ in size and colour, and entitled "_Classified Catalogue of Subjects on which Opinions can be furnished at the Shortest Notice_." I turned the pages breathlessly until I came to "Class V, Voter; sub-class P, Proportional Representation." "There," I said, "is what I want," and I pointed the place out to him. "Dear me," he said, "you desire guidance on a very simple matter." "Well," I said, "I'm not so sure about that. It has rather flummoxed us in our office. We can't make head or tail--" "You may thank your stars," he interrupted, "that you've come to the right shop. I'll make it all as clear as daylight in two shakes of a pig's whisker. Are you ready?" I said I was, and he began to pour forth at once. "Imagine," he said, "a constituency of 40,000 voters who elect four representatives. Obviously anyone who gets 40,001 votes is elected. Well then, there are ten candidates. All you have to do is to take the quotient of _x_ divided by _y_, where _x_ can be raised to the _n_th power and _y_ can be raised to the _n_th-1, and add to this the least common denominator of the number of votes cast for the last three candidates, taking care to eliminate in each case the square root of _z_, where _z_ equals the number of voters belonging to the Church of England, _minus_ Archdeacons and Rural Deans, but inclusive of Minor Canons and Precentors. Do you follow me?" "Ye-es," I said.