The representatives of thirty leading American railways have agreed virtually to an embargo on eastern shipments of freight for export until the present congestion on the eastern sideboard is relieved."--_Evening Standard_. This is all very well for the Americans, but what we are concerned about is the depletion of our own sideboard. * * * * * From an official advertisement in favour of tillage:-- "An acre of Oats will feed for a week . . 100 people. An acre of Potatoes . 200 " " " of Beef . . 8 " "--_Irish Times_. We understand that Lord DEVONPORT accepts no responsibility for the last statement. * * * * * [Illustration: _Father_. "YOU'RE VERY BACKWARD. THERE'S NORMAN SMITHERS, THE SAME AGE AS YOU, AND HE'S TWO FORMS HIGHER. AREN'T YOU ASHAMED?" _Hopeful_. "NO. HE CAN'T HELP IT--IT'S HEREDITARY."] * * * * * THE MAMMAL-SAURIAN WAR. A PARABLE OF GERMANY'S COLONIES. Long ages ere the Age of Man, While yet this earthly crust was thinnish, The War of Might and Right began, Proceeding swiftly to a finish; And this provides in many ways An object-lesson nowadays. The Saurians, clad in coats of mail, Shone with a most attractive lustre; Strong claws, long limbs, a longer tail-- They pinned their faith to bulk and bluster; They laid their eggs in every land And hid them deftly in the sand. The Mammals, small as yet and few, Relying less on scales and muscles, Developed diaphragms, and grew Non-nucleated red corpuscles; They walked more nimbly on their legs And learnt the art of sucking eggs. The Saurians, spoiling for a fight, Went off in high explosive fashion; They lashed themselves to left and right Into a pre-historic passion; The Mammals, on the other hand, Ate all their eggs up in the sand. Those precious eggs, a source of pride On which the Saurian hopes depended, Kept all their enemies supplied With life by which their own was ended; And where they fondly hoped to spread The Mammals lived and throve instead. And so the Saurians passed from view, Leaving behind the faintest traces, No longer bent on hacking through, Though looking still for sunny places; Dwarfed to a more convenient size They spend their time in catching flies. * * * * * THE NON-STOP LINGUIST. "To O.C. ... From ... Brigade. ---- Corps requires services of an officer who can speak Italian fluently for four or five days." * * * * * "Under the auspices of the Women's Reform Club, a Ladies' Fancy Dress Ball will be held at the Residential Club, Main Street. No Gentlemen. No Wallflowers. Ladies may appear in mail attire."--_Bulawayo Chronicle_. In their "knighties," so to speak? * * * * *