The staff of the new Pensions Minister, it is announced, will be over two thousand. It is still hoped, however, that there may be a small surplus which can be devoted to the needs of disabled soldiers. *** Several men have been arrested in Dresden for passing counterfeit food tickets. The defence will presumably be that it wasn't real food. *** The Royal Engineers are advertising for seamen for the Inland Water Transport Section. The Chief Transport Officer, we understand, has already hoisted his bargee. *** Eggs to the number of six million odd have just arrived from China, says a news item, and will be used for confectionery. Had they arrived three months ago nothing could have averted a General Election. *** A hen while being sold at a Red Cross sale at Horsham laid an egg which fetched 35_s._ In the best hen circles, where steady silent work is being done, there is a growing tendency to frown upon these isolated acts of ostentatious patriotism. *** _The Times_, it seems, has not published a complete list of its rivals in the desperate struggle for the smallest circulation. A Finchley Church magazine has increased its price to 1-1/2_d._ a copy. *** Paper bags are no longer being used by greengrocers in Bangor, and their customers are patriotically assisting this economy by unpodding their green peas and rolling them home. *** "Bacon, as a breakfast food," says an evening paper, "is fast disappearing from the table." We have often noticed it do so. *** "It is pitiful and disgraceful," says the _Berliner Tageblatt_, "to watch women-folk walking beside their half-starved dogs. There is no room in warfare for dogs." We have all along felt sorry for the poor animals at a time when one half the dachshund does not know how the other half lives. *** A Felicitous Juxtaposition. "EGGS FOR LINCOLN HOSPITAL. COL. ---- LAYS A FALSE RUMOUR."--_Lincoln Leader_. *** "PULLETS, laying 3s. 6d. each."--_Provincial Paper_. Yet farmers persist in telling us there's no money in fowls. *** "The first description of how the German Fleet reached Rome after the battle of Jutland is furnished by a neutral from Kiel."--_Johannesburg Daily Mail_. Of all the roads that lead to Rome this is certainly the roughest. *** The New Greeting: "Comment vous Devonportez-vous?" * * * * * TO GERMANIA FROM SOMEBODY WHO OUGHT TO BE IN PRISON. _Air_--"To Althæa from Prison." When Peace with wide and shining wings Invades this warring isle, And my beloved Germania brings Wearing her largest smile; When close about her waist I coil And mouth to mouth apply, Not SNOWDEN, patriot son of toil, Will be more pleased than I.