* * * * * "A landslide in Monmouthshire threatens to close the natural course of the River Ebbw, seriously interfering with its ffllww."--_Star_. It certainly sounds rather diverting. * * * * * From a list of gramophone records:-- "Nothing could seem easier in the wide world than the emission of the cascade of notes that falls from the mouth of the horn--which might indeed be Tetrazzini's own mouth." "The diameter of my own gramophone horn is eighteen inches," writes the sender of the extract. * * * * * [Illustration: "THE ROAD TO VICTORY." GERMANY. "ARE WE NEARLY THERE, ALL-HIGHEST?" ALL-HIGHEST. "YES; WE'RE GETTING NEAR THE END NOW."] * * * * * [Illustration: "'AVE YOU 'EARD ABOUT THESE 'ERE NEW INVISIBLE ZEPPELINS THEY'RE MAKIN'?" "YES. BUT I DON'T RECKON WE SHALL SEE MANY OF 'EM OVER 'ERE."] * * * * * TAXIS AND TALK. Conversation in the streets of London has never been easy; not, at any rate, until the small hours, when the best of it is done. But it becomes even more complex when one of the talkers is pressed for time and wants a taxi, and disengaged taxis are as rare as new jokes in a revue. Let the following dialogue prove it. I leave open the question whether or not I have reported the real terms of our conversation, merely reminding you that two men together, removed from the frivolity of women, tend, even in the street and when the thermometer is below freezing-point, to a high seriousness rare when the sexes are mingled. Imagine us facing a wind from the east composed of steel filings and all uncharity. We are somewhere in Chelsea, and for some reason or other, or none at all, I am accompanying him. _He_ (_looking at his watch_). I've got to be at Grosvenor Gardens by half-past one and there's not a taxi anywhere. We must walk fast and perhaps we'll meet one. Dash this War anyhow. (_He said, as a matter of fact, "damn," but I am getting so tired of that word, in print that I shall employ alternatives every time. Someone really must institute a close season for "damns" or they won't any longer be funny on the stage; and, since to laugh in theatres has become a national duty, that, in the present state of the wit market, would be privation indeed._) _I_ (_submerged by brain wave_). Perhaps we'll meet one. _He._ Keep a sharp look out, won't you? I 've got to be there by half-past one, and I hate to be late. _I._ Those tailors you were asking me about--I think you'll find them very decent people. They---- _He_ (_excitedly_). Here comes one. Hi! Hi! [_A taxi, obviously full of people, approaches and passes, the driver casting a pitying glance at my poor signalling friend._ _He._ I thought it was free. _I._ The flag was down. _He._ I couldn't be sure. What were you saying? Sorry.