"Furniture for Poultry: 2 easy chairs, solid walnut frames, nicely upholstered and sound, 12/6 each; also 2 armchairs, 4 small chairs, walnut frames, nicely upholstered and sound, £2; 5 other chairs, upholstered in tapestry and leather, 5/- each."--_The Bazaar_. Has this sort of thing Mr. PROTHERO'S approval? Some hens are already too much inclined to sit when we want them to lay. * * * * * THE TIPINBANOLA. "There," I said, "you've interrupted me again." "Tut tut," said Francesca. "And the dogs are barking," I said, "and the guinea-hens are squawking." "I daresay," she said; "but you can't hear the guinea-hens; they're much too far away." "Yes, but I know they're squawking--they always are--and for a sensitive highly-strung man it's the same thing." "Tut-t----" "Tut me no more of your tuts, Francesca," I said, "for I am engaged in a most complicated and difficult arithmetical calculation." "If," said Francesca deliberately, "two men in corduroys, with straps below their knees, and a boy in flannel shorts, all working seven hours and a half per day for a week, can plant five thousand potatoes on an acre of land, how many girls in knickerbockers will be required to----" "Stop, Francesca," I said, "or I shall go mad." "If," she continued inexorably, "a train travelling at the rate of sixty-two miles and three-quarters in an hour takes two and a half seconds to pass a lame man walking in the same direction find how many men with one arm each can board a motor-bus in Piccadilly Circus, having first extracted the square root of the wheel-base." "Stow it," I said. "Isn't that rude?" she said. "Yes," I said; "it was intended to be." "Well, but what _are_ you doing?" "I'm calculating rates of percentage on the new War Loan," I said. "Why worry over that?" she said. "It announces itself as a five-per-center, and I'm willing to take it at its word. What's your difficulty? Surely you do not impute prevarication to the CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER." "No," I said, "far from it. I have the greatest possible respect for him. I'm sure he would not deceive a poor investor; but he doesn't know my difficulties. It's this getting £100 by paying only £95 that's knocking me sideways; and then there's the income tax, and the other loan at four per cent., on which no income tax is to be charged, and the conversion of the old four-and-a-half per cent. War Loan, and of the various lots of Exchequer Bonds. It's all as generous as it can be, but for a man whose mathematical education has been, shall we say, defective, it's as bad as a barbed-wire entanglement." "Oh, don't muddle your unfortunate head any more. Just plank down your money and take what they give you. That's my motto." "No doubt," I said; "that's all very well for you. You aren't the head of the household, with all its cares depending on you. Heads of households ought-to know their exact position."