A farmer in the Weald of Kent is offering 13_s._ 6_d._ a week, board and lodging not provided, to a horseman willing to work fifteen hours a day. It is understood that this insidious attempt to popularise agriculture at the expense of the army has been the subject of a heated interchange of letters between the War Office and the Board of Agriculture. *** "The warmest places in England yesterday," says _The Pall Mall Gazette_, "were Scotland and the South-West of England." We have got into trouble before now with our Caledonian purists for speaking of Great Britain as England, but we never said a thing like that. *** A London doctor, says _The Daily Mail_, estimates that colds cost this country £15,000,000 annually. If that is the case we may say at once that we think the charge is excessive. *** A gossip-writer makes much of the fact that he saw a telegraph messenger running in Shoe Lane the other morning. We are glad to be in a position to clear up this mystery. It appears that the messenger in question was in the act of going off duty. *** There seems to be no intention of issuing sugar tickets--until a suitable palace can be obtained for the accommodation of the functionary responsible for this feature. *** The charge for cleaning white gloves has been increased, and it is likely that there will be a return to the piebald evening wear so much in vogue in Soho restaurants. *** The 1917 pennies appear to be thinner than those of pre-War issues, and several maiden ladies have written to the authorities asking if income tax has been deducted at the source. * * * * * [Illustration: "WHAT THE DEVIL ARE YOU DOING DOWN THAT SHELL-HOLE? DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME SAY WE WERE OUT AGAINST FOUR TO ONE?" _Geordie (a trade-unionist)._ "AY. AA HEARD YOU; BUT AA'VE KILLED MA FOWER."] * * * * * "'The Land of Promise' ... was only withdrawn from the Duke of York's in the height of its success owing to the declaration of War in 1894."--_The Stage_. Is it _really_ only twenty-three years? * * * * * "Residents early astir on Sunday morning had an unpleasant surprise. A sharp frost over-night had converted the road surfaces into glassy ice, which made walking impossible without some assistance. A walking-stick, without some sort of boot covering, was of little avail."--_Oxford Times_. That was our own experience with a walking-stick which was absolutely bootless. * * * * * THE MUD-LARKS. Our mess was situated on the crest of a ridge, and enjoyed an uninterrupted view of rolling leagues of mud; it had the appearance of a packing-case floating on an ocean of ooze. We and our servants, and our rats and our cockroaches, and our other bosom-companions slept in tents pitched round and about the mess.