DEAR FREDDY,--Let us mingle our tears. The worst is about to happen If you were as good a churchgoer as one could wish, you would have been in your pew yesterday morning, when the banns were read out (for the first time of asking) "between George Goodman, bachelor, and Emily Parsons, spinster, both of this parish," though this would not have conveyed to you the appalling fact that your man is marrying my entire staff all at once. I doubt, however, if you will be able to find cause or just impediment, etc. Yours, H. * * * * * [Illustration: "DIDN'T KNOW WOT 'APPINESS WAS TILL I GOT MARRIED." "AND NOW YOU'VE 'AD TO LEAVE IT, EH?" "WOTCHER MEAN, _LEAVE_ IT? I'VE COME BACK TO IT."] * * * * * THE TEMPERANCE MOVEMENT IN INDIA. "In the Punjab and Sind it has been possible to colonise uninhabited wastes, and flourishing communities, aggregating nearly two million inhabitants, are supported entirely by canal water." _Prof. STANLEY JEVONS, in "To-day."_ * * * * * "Girl wanted, just leaving school, for Ruling Department."--_Provincial Paper_. Does this mean that we are to have a flapper in the Cabinet? * * * * * THE FOLLOW-UP METHOD. When you respond to an advertisement offering a booklet or a sample free, you are pestered by the proprietor of the commodity advertised with numerous communications importuning your custom, until in sheer self-defence you make a purchase. Now I had occasion to answer an announcement advertising for the services of a person with attainments approximating to my own, decided that, in the event of my application attracting no response, I would adopt the methods indicated above. For the benefit of others I give below a record of my procedure and the result. My first letter detailed my qualifications, which were very exceptional; explained that my intelligence and industry were far above the average; that I was morbidly conscientious, and willing to sacrifice all my own interests for the needs of the firm; that the reason for leaving my last position was solely a matter of circumstances over which I had no control, and that at an interview, which I craved, I would explain everything to everybody's satisfaction and prove my perfect eligibility for the post. And so forth.