_North China Daily News_. Yet we dare say the poor fellow meant well. * * * * * "In the preliminary examination of patients the author introduces a test which is new to us; two or three breaths having been drawn through the nose, this organ is then punched by the anæsthetist, whilst the patient holds his breath as long as possible."--_The Practitioner_. What the victim of this novel treatment says after recovering his breath is happily withheld from us. * * * * * From the Daily Orders of an Australian Battalion:-- "MOVES OF OFFICERS. The following Officers have reported their arrival and departed respectfully." Discipline in the Imperial contingents is evidently improving. * * * * * [Illustration: THE BANKRUPT BRAVOS. SCENE: _Vienna, between the Sittings of the Conference._ SULTAN. "IT'S TIME WE GOT SOME MORE MONEY OUT OF WILLIAM. HE SEEMS TO THINK HE'S DOING ALL THE FRIGHTFULNESS. HE FORGETS THAT I'M KNOWN AS THE 'TERRIBLE TURK.'" FERDINAND. "YES: AND THEY CALL ME 'FERDIE THE FEARFUL.'" [The latter title has recently been conferred upon the TSAR of Bulgaria by his subjects in recognition of his continued absence from Sofia since the bombing of his palace.]] * * * * * [Illustration: _G.O.C._ "WELL, MY MAN, WHAT ARE YOU IN CIVILIAN LIFE?" _Dejected Private_. "PROFESSOR OF GREEK HISTORY AT ONE OF THE UNIVERSITIES, SIR."] * * * * * THE MINIATURE. When I left her, Celia had two photographs, a British warm and an accidental coffee-stain, by which to remember me. The coffee-stain was the purest accident. By her manner of receiving it, Celia gave me the impression that she thought I had done it on purpose, but it was not so. The coffee-cup slipped-in-me-'and-mum, after which the law of gravity stepped in, thus robbing what would have been a polite deed of most of its gallantry. However, I explained all that at the time. The fact remains that, in whatever way you look at it, I had left my mark. Celia was not likely to forget me. But she was determined to make sure. No doubt mine is an elusive personality; take the mind off it for one moment and it is gone. So I was to be perpetuated in a miniature. "Can it be done without a sitting?" I asked doubtfully. I was going away on the morrow. "Oh, yes. It can be done from the photographs easily. Of course I shall have to explain your complexion and so on." "May I read the letter when you've explained it?" "Certainly not," said Celia firmly. "I only want to make sure that it's an explanation and not an apology." "I shall probably put it down to a bicycle accident. Which is that?--No, no," she added hastily, "_Kamerad!_" I put down the revolver and went on with my packing. And a day or two later Celia began to write about the miniature. * * * * *