Among the goods stolen from a Crouch Hill provision merchant's the other day were eight cheeses and ten hams. As the place was much littered it is thought that the cheeses put up a plucky fight. *** It is pointed out by experienced agriculturists that it is useless to plant potatoes unless steps are taken to destroy the insect pests. A Peterborough farmer has written a poem in _The Daily Express_ against those pests, but we fancy that if a permanent improvement is to be effected it will be necessary to adopt much sterner measures than this. *** The recent vagaries of the Weather Controller are said to be due to one of the new railway regulations, by which you are required to "Show all seasons, please." *** Even Nature seems upset by the War. According to _The Evening Standard_ primroses are blooming in a Harrow garden, while only the other day a pair of white spats were to be seen in the Strand. * * * * * [Illustration: _Anxious Mother._ "NEVER MIND ABOUT YOUR BROTHER, MAUD. 'OLD THE UMBRELLER OVER THE SUGAR!"] * * * * * Another Glimpse of the Obvious. From the "Standing Orders" of a Military Hospital:-- "Officers confined to their beds will have their meals in their rooms." * * * * * "A gale of great fury raged at Sheffield early on Tuesday morning. Much damage was done in the city and outlying districts, a number of beings being unroofed."--_Yorkshire Paper._ Several others have been noticed to have a tile loose. * * * * * "The welcome, amounting to an oration, which heralded the Prime Minister, was the most remarkable feature of a very remarkable occasion." _Daily Dispatch._ Is this quite kind to the subsequent speakers? * * * * * "By his colleagues at Bar he has been regarded as a sound lawyer, well worthy of the high position which he had filled for little over two hundred years."--_Englishman_ (_Calcutta_). Lord HALSBURY must look to his laurels. * * * * * "Mr. Clement Wragge has prepared a special weather forecast for the year 9117. His opinion is that the year will prove distinctly good." _New Zealand Times._ We infer that, in Mr. WRAGGE's opinion, the War will be over by then. * * * * * The Minimum. Extract from a letter just received from H.Q. in France:-- "C.O.'s will take care that all ranks know that they must never parade before an Officer--Brigade, Regimental or Company--unless properly dressed, wearing at least a belt." * * * * * "The few women on the platform were dressed quietly, as befitted the occasion, the smartest person present being Mr. McKenna."--_Illustrated Sunday Herald._ Our contemporary might have told us what he wore.