Oft have I sat and wept, or sought to study With hopeless gaze the uninstructive stars, Hopeless because the very skies were muddy; I only saw a red malicious Mars; Or pulled my little compass out and pondered, And set it sadly on my shrapnel hat, Which, I suppose, was why the needle wandered, Only, of course, I never thought of that. And then perhaps some 5.9's start dropping, As if there weren't sufficient holes about; I flounder on, hysterical and sopping, And come by chance to where I started out, And say once more, while I have no objection To other people going to Berlin, Give _me_ a trench, a nice revetted section, And let me stay there till the Bosch gives in! * * * * * =A Judge Speaks Out.= "Regarding the assertions that the appellant introduced politics into his sermons, it would be a bad day for this country when in a political controversy when a clergyman could conceive cases in which some high ideal was involved in a political controversy when a clergyman could honestly and reasonably preach about it."--_Yorkshire Post._ We have always felt that something like this needed saying. * * * * * [Illustration: COMFORT IN EXILE. IMPERIAL BROTHER-IN-LAW. "AFTER ALL, MY DEAR TINO, YOU ARE SOMETHING BETTER THAN A KING; YOU ARE A FIELD-MARSHAL IN MY ARMY! YOU SHALL PRESENTLY HAVE A COMMAND ON THE WESTERN FRONT." TINO _(without enthusiasm)_. "THANK YOU VERY MUCH."] * * * * * =ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.= _Monday, June 11th_.--I am told that it was WILLIE REDMOND'S ambition to be the Father of the House; indeed, that by some arithmetical process peculiar to himself be claimed, although only elected in 1883, to be already entitled to that venerable honour. In reality he was the Eternal Boy, from the far-off time when it was his nightly delight with youthful exuberance to cheek Mr. Speaker BRAND until the moment of his glorious death in Flanders, whither he had gone at an age when most of his compeers were content to play the critic in a snug corner of the smoking-room. Personal affection combined with admiration for his gallantry to inspire the speeches in which the PRIME MINISTER, Mr. ASQUITH and Sir EDWARD CARSON enshrined the most remarkable tribute ever paid to a private Member.