Complaint has been made by a member of the Hounslow Burial Committee of courting couples occupying seats in the cemetery. The killjoy! * * * We can only suppose it was the hot weather that tempted a newsagent correspondent to ask whether Lord NORTHCLIFFE had gone to America on "sail or return." * * * Mr. BALFOUR, we are told, while staying at Washington, visited eleven public buildings and interviewed nine representative Americans on one day. There is some talk of his being elected an honorary American. * * * We wish to deny the foolish rumour that when he arrived in London from his American tour and was asked if he had had a good voyage, he remarked, "Sure thing, sonny. All the little Mister Congressmen gathered around, and it suited your Uncle Dudley very nicely and some more. Yep!" * * * An old lady was recently fined two pounds for putting out crumbs for birds. Had the bread-crumbs been put outside, instead of inside, the birds, no offence, it seems, would have been committed. * * * Newspapers in Germany may now be sold only to subscribers for one month or more. A similar measure for England is opposed on the ground that it would be most inadvisable to check the practice at present in vogue among patriotic supporters of the Coalition Government of buying _The Morning Post_ and _The Daily News_ on alternate days. * * * Bobbing for eels is being pursued with much enthusiasm on the Norfolk Broads. Two-bobbing for haddocks in Kensington is sport enough for most of us. * * * Large numbers of the German prisoners taken at Messines wore new boots and new uniforms. Other improvements included a less ragged rendering of the well-known recitation, "Kamerad!" * * * Asked what bait could be used for coarse fish, the late FOOD-CONTROLLER suggested one "made from bran, with a limited quantity of oatmeal." The correspondent has now written to inquire whether the fish have been officially informed of the new diet. * * * Four shillings a hundredweight is being paid for old omnibus tickets, but there are still a few people who use these vehicles for pleasure, without any motive of gain. * * * * * [Illustration: _Visitor_. "YES, BUT WHAT'S THE POINT OF WHITEWASHING THE TREE TRUNKS?" _Amateur Gardener_. "I CAN'T SAY FOR CERTAIN; BUT I _THINK_ THE IDEA IS TO KEEP THE BATS FROM KNOCKING THEIR HEADS IN THE DARK."] * * * * * =Suspended Animation.= "LAUNDRY.--Girl to hang up and make herself useful."--_Liverpool Echo_. * * * * * "For myself, I have very good reasons for not being in khaki. I live on a farm near the Grand Falls of the St. John River. These falls are second to Niagara in size and splendour, and attract visitors from all over the country."--_Canadian Paper_. He must have told the recruiting-officer that he was subject to cataract.