* * * * * ANOTHER IMPENDING APOLOGY. From a South African Parish Magazine:-- "Many thanks to the Rev. ---- and the Rev. ---- for coming to St. ---- during the past month. The Rector went off to Clifton and Park Town, and enjoyed the change almost as much as the congregation." * * * * * "A bird flew into Willesden Court yesterday and perched above the magistrate's head. "Alderman Pinkham: 'It's not often we 'get the bird' on the bench.'" But the "Beak" is there all the time. * * * * * [Illustration: THE JUDGMENT OF PARIS: LATEST INVERSION. {CONSERVATISM, LIBERALISM, LABOUR.} "DON'T FORGET, DEAR LADY, WHEN THE TIME COMES, THAT IT WAS _I_ WHO GAVE YOU THE APPLE."] * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. _Monday, June 18th._--Arising out of the dethronement of TINO a cloud-burst of questions descended upon Lord ROBERT CECIL, who took refuge under a wide-spreading umbrella of official ignorance. Mr. LYNCH was annoyed because his question whether the Allies would oppose the foundation of a Greek Republic was dismissed as "hypothetical," but Lord ROBERT assured him that there was "nothing abusive" in the epithet. But is that so? Suppose he were to describe Mr. LYNCH as a "hypothetical statesman"? A detailed history of a Canterbury lamb, from its purchase in New Zealand at 6-3/8_d._ a pound to its sale to the British butcher at 10-1/2_d._, was given by Mr. GEORGE ROBERTS. He threw no light, however, on the problem why it should double in price before reaching the consumer. This is engaging the anxious consideration of Lord RHONDDA, who declares that there is no adequate economic reason why Little Mary should have only a little lamb. In the House of Commons as in a music-hall you can always get a laugh by referring to "the lodger." Whether the lodger, who is considered quite good enough to vote for a mere Member of Parliament, should also be allowed a voice in the election of really important people like town councillors was the theme of animated discussion. It ended ultimately in the lodger's favour, with the proviso that the apartments he occupies should be unfurnished. On such niceties does the British Constitution depend. _Tuesday, June 19th._--Mr. BALFOUR received a warm welcome from all sections of the House on making his first appearance after his return from America. Even the ranks of Tuscany, on the Irish benches, could not forbear to cheer their old opponent. Besides securing American gold for his country, he has transferred some American bronze to his own complexion, and has, if anything, sharpened his faculty for skilful evasion and polite repartee by his encounters with Transatlantic journalists.