Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, March 21, 1917Various
History
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, March 21, 1917
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Enver._ I didn't know your Majesty's feelings were so strong on the
subject. Perhaps it will not, after all, be necessary. I will see what can
be done.
_The Sultan._ Yes, do, there's a good fellow. If I had to entertain that
man for a week I should suffer from indigestion for the rest of my life.
_Enver._ If possible we will see that your Majesty is spared such an
affliction. With your Majesty's leave I will now withdraw.
_The Sultan._ Do by all means. No--stop; you haven't given me any of the
War news. I keep on asking for it, but nobody pays any attention to my
requests. Honestly, I don't see much use in being a Sultan if one can't get
anyone to do what one asks.
_Enver._ Oh, you want to hear some War news, do you? Well, I may as well
tell you now as later. Baghdad's gone.
_The Sultan._ What--captured?
_Enver._ Yes, the infernal English have got it.
_The Sultan._ I knew it was bound to happen. I told you so only last
Tuesday--at least, if it wasn't you it was somebody else. "Baghdad," I
said, "is sure to be captured. The English are in great force, and if we
don't watch it carefully they're sure to snatch it from us." That's what I
said; but you wouldn't have it. You were all so cock-sure, and now where
are you?
_Enver._ Who can fight against treachery?
_The Sultan._ Treachery? It's simply stupidity and incompetence. You and
your KAISER keep patting one another on the back, and then one fine morning
you wake up and discover that Baghdad has fallen. ENVER, you'll find it
rather difficult to explain this to the people. They know my advice hasn't
counted for anything in this; they'll put it all down to you; and you can't
murder them all, as you murdered poor old NAZIM.
_Enver._ Silence, or--
_The Sultan._ Yes, I know, but I will not keep silence. Rather, I will ask
again, why have you sent my best regiments to help the Austrians and
Germans on their own fronts? Even I could have managed better than that.
And why are we fighting in this War at all? Answer me that.
_Enver._ We fight for the greatness of Turkey.
_The Sultan._ Well, we don't seem very successful. It was a good deal
bigger before we lost Erzerum and Baghdad...
(_Left wrangling._)
* * * * *
Conscience-Money?
"The Commissioners of Inland Revenue acknowledge the receipt of first
half of £100 note from 'Berlin.'"--_Daily Paper._
* * * * *
"Half-a-dozen deer escaped from Hatfield Park some weeks ago through a
gate having been carelessly left open. A wholesale clearance of
vegetables followed in the district, and the damage was so serious
that, with the Marquis of Salisbury's approval, shooting parties of
farmers went out, and the raiders have now been run to
earth."--_Manchester Paper._
It looks as if they were only rabbits, after all.
* * * * *
AT THE PLAY.
"REMNANT."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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