These are, in brief, the vistas That swim before my ken; So tell the Carranzistas To up and act like men; And say the money's coming on, but do not mention when. Bid them with sword and fire wreck The pale Pacific West; And tell SYLVESTER VIERECK And BARTHOLDT and the rest To call the Lagerbund to arms and jump on WILSON'S chest. There'll be some opposition-- That I can quite foresee; But bear in mind your mission Must primarily be To keep the swine-dog Yankees from jumping on to _me_! ALGOL. * * * * * Our Commercial Stylists. "--, SONS & CO., LTD., ARE SHOWING A DELIGHTFUL RANGE OF CORSETS, EMBRACING THE MOST APPROVED MODELS."--_Glasgow Herald._ * * * * * "Dover: Gas up 5d. a 1,000. Tunbridge Wells: Gas up 2d. a 1,000. Lord Selborne is up again, after a chill."--_Evening News._ Good, but how much? * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. (_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerics._) _The Snare_ (SECKER) impressed me as a tale emphatically prededicate to the footlights. Actually, by the way, Mr. RAFAEL SABATINI has dedicated it "to LEON M. LEON, who told me this story"--which, of course, only strengthens my belief. Anyhow, it has every mark of the romantic drama--a picturesque setting, that of the Peninsular War, rich in possibilities for the scenic and sartorial arts; and a strongly emotional plot, leading up to a situation that could be relied upon to bring down the house. I shall, of course, not tell you the plot. It contains a jealous husband, an injudicious wife, a hero and heroine, a villain (of foreign extraction) and a god in the machine, who is none other than our IRON DUKE himself. And the situation in the last Act offers as pretty a piece of table-turning as any audience need desire. I wish I could explain how the DUKE plays with his enemies, and finally--but no, I said I wouldn't, and I will keep my word. Two little carpings, however. Surely it is wrong to speak of "catch half-penny" journalism in the time of WELLINGTON. My impression is that the journalists of those days caught at least fourpence by their wares. And I confess to an emotion of disappointment when the heroine bounced up at the court-martial and said that the hero couldn't have committed the murder because he was "in her arms" at the time. Of course he hadn't been; and I very much doubt whether any Court would have believed her for two minutes. But leading ladies love saying it, so I suppose the very out-worn device will have to be retained in the stage version. I look forward to this with much pleasure. * * * * *