* * * * * Another Impending Apology. "LONDON PAVILION. CHEERIO! at 8.30.--'Just the thing for a dull evening.'"--_Daily News._ * * * * * "A few of the waiting women abandoned hope of getting potatoes, and substituted the purchase by parsnips and sweres."--_Daily Mirror._ In the circumstances who shall blame them? * * * * * NOTICE. In order to meet the national need for economy in the consumption of paper, the Proprietors of _Punch_ are compelled to reduce the number of its pages, but propose that the amount of matter published in _Punch_ shall by condensation and compression be maintained and even, it is hoped, increased. It is further necessary that means should be taken to restrict the circulation of _Punch_, and its price has been raised to Sixpence. The Proprietors believe that the public will prefer an increase of price to a reduction of matter. Readers are urged to place an order with their Newsagent for the regular delivery of copies, as _Punch_ may otherwise be unobtainable, the shortage of paper making imperative the withdrawal from Newsagents of the "on-sale-or-return" privilege. In consequence of the increase in the price of _Punch_ the period covered by subscriptions already paid direct to the _Punch_ Office will be proportionately shortened; or the unexpired value will be refunded, if desired. The next issue of _Punch_ (March 28th) will be a Navy Double Number, price Sixpence. The Proprietors regret that arrangements for this Number were completed before the further drastic restrictions in the paper supply were announced. * * * * * [Illustration: _Unlucky One_ (_after perusing latest list of honours_). "NEVER HAVE HAD ANY LUCK. MONTHS AGO I SAVED A SERGEANT CHAP FROM A ROTTEN PLACE--CARRIED THE FELLOW ALL THE WAY BACK--AND TOLD HIM NOT TO SAY A WORD ABOUT IT!" _Friend._ "WELL, WHAT'S WRONG? HAS HE BEEN TALKING?" _Unlucky One._ "NOT A WORD, CURSE HIM!"] * * * * * THE MUD LARKS. When I was young, my parents sent me to a boarding school, not in any hopes of getting me educated, but because they wanted a quiet home. At that boarding school I met one Frederick Delane Milroy, a chubby flame-coloured brat who had no claims to genius, excepting as a _littérateur_. The occasion that established his reputation with the pen was a Natural History essay. We were given five sheets of foolscap, two hours and our own choice of subject. I chose the elephant, I remember, having once been kind to one through the medium of a bag of nuts. Frederick D. Milroy headed his effort "THE FERT" in large capitals, and began, "The fert is a noble animal--" He got no further, the extreme nobility of the ferret having apparently blinded him to its other characteristics.