[Illustration: _Tommy (back from Blighty)_. "YUS, I GRANT YER A BIT O' LEAVE'S ALL RIGHT. BUT IT'S AWFUL DEPRESSIN', TOO, AT HOME--NOTHIN' BUT WAR--WAR! IT GIVES YER THE FAIR 'UMP."] * * * * * "JAPANESE POLITICS. PRIME MINISTER'S ATTACK ON THE DIET."--_Daily Paper._ We wouldn't be the Food Controller in Japan for anything. * * * * * "Wanted situation as Groom Coachman or Coachman General; disengaged early in March; can milk and care motor if required."--_Irish Paper_. A modern improvement, we suppose, on "the cow with the iron tail." * * * * * "At a special meeting of the Duma held to-day, the Minister for Agriculture, M. Rittich, in reply to an urgent question on the measures for supplying Petrograd, stated the supplies were sufficient for the present. Difficulties in purchase are due to excessive building and storing by individuals in the shape of rusks."--_Daily Chronicle_. No authority for this remarkable statement is given, but we suspect the _Russky Invalid_. * * * * * "A trifle of a trinket for his women-folk is the only saving as an insurance for the poor against famine and starvation for a rainless day."--_A Native Writer in "The Times of India."_ KIPLING was right, East is East and West is West. * * * * * "The undersigned has great pleasure in informing all the ladies, gentlemen and the other travellers in the Station that a very nice comfortable motor car can be obtained on hire from him for a walk in or out of the Station for any period of time at very reasonable charges."--_Peshawar Daily News_. The petrol shortage evidently extends to India. * * * * * "Ireland is accustomed to disappointment; she is accustomed to what she signalises as betrayal, but her spirit remains unbroken, and she goes on her way undaunted to seek, it may be by new methods and a new road, her appointed gaol."--_Manchester Guardian._ Irishmen may justifiably resent this cynicism on the part of an old friend. * * * * * [Illustration: A MODIFIED SALIENT. _The Old 'Un (surveying recently called-up warrior)._ "WELL, JARGE, YOU'M STILL TURR'BLE FAT, BUT THE ARMY DO ZEEM TO 'AVE REARRANGED IT, LIKE."] * * * * * GOLD BRAID. Same old crossing, same old boat, Same old dust round Rouen way, Same old narsty one-franc note, Same old "Mercy, sivvoo play;" Same old scramble up the line, Same old 'orse-box, same old stror, Same old weather, wet or fine, Same old blooming War. _Ho Lor, it isn't a dream,_ _It's just as it used to be, every bit;_ _Same old whistle and same old bang,_ _And me to stay 'ere till I'm 'it._