But no matter--in joy and affliction, In seasons of failure or fame, I cherish the certain conviction You'll never dishonour your name; For the love of the mother that bore you, The life and the death of your sire Will shine as a lantern before you, To guide and exalt and inspire. * * * * * Life's Little Ironies. "Ever-ready Safety Razor, strop, outfit, 12 blades, new; exchange something useful."--_The Model Engineer and Electrician._ * * * * * "The marriage of Captain ----, Grenadier Guards, to Miss ---- was a very quiet affair, and not more than a score of people attended the ceremony at St. Andrew's, Wells-street, during the week.--_Observer._ Quiet, perhaps, but unusually protracted. * * * * * How it Happened. From a publisher's advt.:-- "NEW NOVELS THE HISTORY OF AN ATTRACTION HE LOOKED IN MY WINDOW." * * * * * Collectors of coincidences will not fail to notice that what the papers call "The Great Allied Sweep" in France was contemporaneous with the arrival of General SMUTS in England. * * * * * CHILDREN'S TALES FOR GROWN-UPS. IV. THE HUNGER-STRIKE. "Did you hear that?" cried the white hen. "What?" asked all the other hens. "He called us--cluck-cluck-cluck," said the white hen. "Why shouldn't he?" asked all the other hens. "I didn't mean he called us 'cluck-cluck-cluck,'" said the white hen hastily. "I was only choking with rage when I said that. He called us--cluck-cluck-cluck--" "She's going to lay an egg," said the black hen with interest. "Poultry!" screamed the white hen suddenly. "Poultry?" gasped the other hens. "Poultry!--he called us 'poultry'--oh, cluck-cluck-cluck--" "Something must be done," said the yellow hen. "Something must be done," repeated all the hens. "We must have a hunger-strike till he apologises," said the thin hen importantly. "But we shall be hungry," cried all the hens. "That is the essence of a hunger-strike," said the thin hen. Just then the keeper arrived with food for the fowls. "We mustn't run to him," they said to one another. "It's a hunger-strike, you know." Suddenly the fat hen began running to him. "Come back; it's a hunger-strike, you know!" cried the hens. "I have an idea," shouted the fat hen as she ran; "the more we eat the longer we shall hold out." "So we shall," cried all the hens as they scurried after the fat one. * * * * * [Illustration: _Officer (to applicant for War-work)._ "WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" _Ex-flapper._ "CISSIE"] * * * * * THE FAVORITE.