_Typist._ "AH, I WONDERED WHAT MADE MY EAR BURN." ] * * * * * CLASSICAL AMERICA. [A correspondent of _The Westminster Gazette_ remarks in a recent issue, "I am told American students sing their Pindar."] A WRITER in the evening Press Lays quite unnecessary stress Upon the fact that youthful scholars, Residing in the land of dollars, Where men are shrewd and level-headed, Sing songs to PINDAR'S verses wedded. Yet why this wonder, when you think How strongly welded is the link That binds Columbia and its glory To lands renowned in classic story? There's hardly any town of note Mentioned by MOMMSEN or by GROTE Except Byzantium, perhaps-- Which doesn't figure in our maps. Of Ithacas we have a score, And Troys and Uticas galore; Chicago has a Punic sound, And pretty often, I'll be bound, Austere Bostonians heavenward send a Petition calling her _delenda_; While Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Betray the classicising mania. We have a Capitol, also, As fine as Rome's of long ago; Pompey and Romulus and Remus (I'm not so sure of Polyphemus) Are names with us more often worn Than in the lands where they were born. Then, as true classicists to stamp us, Each College has its separate Campus, And we have Senators whose mien Might well have turned old BRENNUS green. Why even the Bird that proudly soars In majesty to guard our shores Before migrating to these regions Was followed by the Roman legions. But we have writ enough to show What everybody ought to know, That, spite of hustle and skyscrapers, And Tammany and yellow papers, The spirit of both Greece and Rome Has found a second lasting home Across the wide Atlantic foam. * * * * * More War Economy. "Perambulator, cheap, for cash, as new; cost L9 15s., receipt shown; owner getting rid of baby."--_Birmingham Daily Mail_. * * * * * "Turn to the annals of the period 1914-1917, everlastingly to be remembered by the Meuse of History."--_Jamaica Paper_. The Meuse needs no reminder. * * * * * "DOING WITHOUT." A valued correspondent writes:-- "We are deluged in the Press just now with information on how to 'do without.' One morning a splendid recipe for making pancakes without eggs; another, a perfect Irish stew without potatoes; another, a Welsh rabbit without cheese. Meatless days are to be as natural as wireless telegraphy; and the other day we were asked seriously to consider the problem of a school without teachers! But there is a certain little corner of the daily paper headed, 'London Readings,' which could better, in war-time phrases, be expressed thus: 'Stern Facts must be Faced--How to do without Sunshine,' for all that the Meteorological expert can find to say is, 'Yesterday Sunshine, 0.0. Previous day Sunshine, 0.0.' O! O!"