* * * * * THE POTSDAM ALTRUIST. [_The Frankfurter Zeitung_ protests against the idea that "the KAISER in Germany's gravest times allows anxiety about himself or his dynasty to have access to his thoughts."] Among the penalties imposed on Kings Who govern absolutely by divine right, I am no more affected by the things That Socialists and other dirty swine write Than when a pin is thrust Into a pachyderm's indifferent crust. But now I deign to answer, even I, The vilest yet of these revolting sallies, Where they allege that when our German sky Rocks to the air of "_Deutschland ueber alles_," "_Und Ich,_" I add (aside), "_Ich ueber Deutschland!_" There the blighters lied. I'm not like that. I never use the first Personal pronoun, like the Monarch LOUIS, Who said (in French--a tongue I deem accurst), "_L'etat, c'est moi._" My conscience, clear and dewy, Tells me that, as a Kaiser, I am a very poor self-advertiser. This is a feature of our dynasty; And no historian who has ever studied The traits peculiar to the family tree On which the Hohenzollern _genus_ budded In all that noble list Has come across a single egoist. They loved their people better than their throne; Lightly they sat on it, dispensing Freedom; They never said, "Your souls are not your own, But simply there in case your King should need 'em;" They would have thought it odd To want to be regarded as a god. Thus have I served my land; and if a wave Of lurid revolution overswept her, And I, her loyal and obedient slave, Were called upon to down my orb and sceptre, That grace I'd freely do, And so, I'm sure, would LITTLE WILLIE too. O.S. * * * * * GEMS FROM THE JUNIORS. The following articles have been written by a little band of patriots who, without any hope of gain or self-aggrandisement, have poured forth of their store of wisdom and experience for the instruction, comfort and encouragement of their fellow-countrymen:-- THE BRITISH NAVY. We are all very proud of the Navy. It is the largest in the world and all the men in it are very brave, and kind too I expeck. ALFRED THE GREAT invented it hundreds of years ago so it has had a long time to practis in. When a sailer wants to say yes he says Ay, ay, sir, not offen mum because the captain is always a man. Perhaps some day he wont be. I have got an uncle who is a captain in the Navy. He says that in the olden days sailers had such bad food that it walked about and if it was up the other end of the table you ony had to whissel and it came down your end dubble quick. But I don't know if that is true. Anyhow everything is all rite now but this plesant thouhgt must not stop us sending parsels to the sailers, as you cant fish up cakes and apples out of the sea and they like them very much.