The German soldiers' opinion of "retirement according to plan": "Each for himself; and the Devil take the Hindenburg." * * * * * "To fill up the gaps in the ranks trains of German reserves are being hushed to the front incessantly."--_Star._ We don't believe this. The Bosch has long given up the habit of singing as he goes into battle. * * * * * "J.J. (New Brighton) sends us a case of a novel method to keep out would-be marauders from the garden. A friend of his who has some expensive ferns planted in a rockery put up the notice, 'Beware of the Scolopendriums and Polypodiums'--which, of course, are the Latin names of garden insects."--_Pearson's Weekly._ Clearly a case of nature mimicry. * * * * * [Illustration: SELF-PROTECTION. JOHN BULL. "I'VE INVESTED A MINT OF MONEY IN OTHER LANDS, IT'S TIME I PUT SOMETHING INTO MY OWN."] * * * * * REVIVALS AND REVISIONS. "IT" (as Mr. GOSSE says at the beginning of his fascinating monograph on SWINBURNE, a work which we understand has just been crowned by the Band of Hope) it is now beyond doubt that Mr. H.B. IRVING'S drastic way with _Hamlet_ is to have a far-reaching effect on all revivals. New authors can be acted more or less as they write, or as they happen to be stronger or weaker than their "producers"; but to be revived is henceforward to be revised, and fairly stringently too. Mr. IRVING has made a clearance of certain parts of _Hamlet_ which interfere with the movement of its story. Actuated by old-fashioned motives and writing for a public that was not yet wholly lacking in discrimination, SHAKSPEARE did his best to make _Hamlet_ a poetical as well as a dramatic tragedy. With this end in view he accumulated the mass of rhetoric with which we are now so familiar. It as been Mr. IRVING's task to prune this well-meant but somewhat excessive verbiage so that the real dramatic stuff can at last "get over." But he has done no more. Any rumour to the effect that he has introduced American songs or dances, or that a "joy plank" bisects the stalls of the Savoy is untrue and deserves the severest denial. One of Mr. Punch's livest although middle-aged wires, who has been interviewing the great managers of the Metropolis--and by great he means those most likely to become revivalists--says that it is the same tale with all. For example, Mr. FRED TERRY, interviewed at his home near the Zoo, in his study furnished with the works of all the greatest writers, from the Baroness ORCZY to HAVELOCK ELLIS, admitted that it was perfectly true that he was contemplating a revival of _The Three Musketeers_, with certain alterations to bring it into line with modern taste in warrior heroes.