Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, May 30, 1917Various
History
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, May 30, 1917
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
"'I'll tell you, Sergeant,' he said. 'I never had much heart for
soldiering, and I only joined up when I did to spite the girl that
jilted me. She jilted me for Jenks, and no sooner did she say the word
to him than she talked him into enlisting too.... That's why I'm no
good. Every time I remember I'm a soldier I think of her laughing at
me, and I feel a fool.'
"'Well,' said I, 'she must be proud of you both, for you're the
weariest, wonkiest pair of wash-outs I ever swore at.'
"I didn't send for Jenks; I could guess his excuse. He had obviously
about as much spirit for fighting as Ruggles, and he was just hanging
on and trying not to get hurt before the War stopped.
"We had a few weeks out of the trenches after my chat with Ruggles,
and one afternoon I came upon them enjoying a hearty, homely,
ten-round hit, kick, and scramble in a quiet corner near their billet.
They looked as if they meant it, but they finished up in about ten
minutes, hugging each other in six inches of mud. Ruggles got up
first, and while he waited for Jenks he turned on his Little Tich
smile. It worked; Jenks smiled too, and the rivals went off together
like brothers.
"I said nothing, and forgot them again--clean forgot them, until,
a week later, Jenks came to me in Number Seven with a yarn about a
crater and a sniper, and might he go and perforate him.
"I had noticed the sniper myself, so I sent Jenks to chase a broom and
picked my own men for this job that mattered. I'd no sooner done it
than Ruggles marched up and asked to be made one of the party.
"I just stared at him, and his grin stretched half an inch each way.
"'I saw Jenks asking you,' he told me, 'and I won't be behind Jenks.
Besides, it was me told him of the sniper.'
"'It's a change for you two to be worrying over snipers,' I said.
"'Well, you're not grumbling at that, are you, Sergeant?' said he.
"'I am not,' I said. 'And I hope you'll keep it up until we're
relieved.'
"'You watch us,' he answered.
"I did. It was Ruggles that put his bayonet into the machine-gunner
that had knocked out half the company. He took the last two bullets in
his arm and side; and it was Jenks that put himself between Ruggles'
head and the revolver that would have made pulp of it if Jenks hadn't
got the hand that held it. He took the bullet in his cheek.
"I saw them in the dressing-station when the shouting was over.
Ruggles was laughing at what Jenks's face would look like when it was
out of bandages. The bullet had taken away about a third of an ear.
Jenks was cursing because it hurt to laugh back.
"'Never mind,' I said to him with a wink at Ruggles, 'I warrant
there's some little girl who won't laugh at you when you get back
home. She has more to be proud of now than your face.'
"'Then you're wrong, Sergeant,' he answered quietly. 'She's changed
her mind. She's _his_ girl now.'
"I looked at Ruggles. He wouldn't catch my eye, but a blush was
working round towards his neck.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account