Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, May 30, 1917Various
History
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, May 30, 1917
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Monday, May 21st_.--Mr. MACCALLUM SCOTT complained that a question
of his relating to the prohibition of "dropped scones"--which Captain
BATHURST, that encyclopaedia of food-lore, described as falling "under
the same category as the crumpet"--had been addressed to the Ministry
of Munitions instead of the Ministry of Food. It was really a venial
error on the part of the Clerk at the Table, for the modern scone
distinctly suggests a missile of offence, and is much more like a
"crump" than a crumpet. If HINDENBURG were acquainted with our London
tea-shops (_consule_ DEVONPORT) he would never have imagined that his
famous phrase about "biting upon granite" would have any terrors for
the British recruit.
When the PRIME MINISTER read from his manuscripts the proposed
conditions of the Irish Convention--how it must include
representatives not only of political parties, but of Churches, trade
unions, commercial and educational interests, and of _Sinn Fein_
itself; and must be prepared to consider every variety of proposal
that might be brought before it--an Irish colleague whispered to me,
"Sure, the Millennium will be over before we get it."
Nothing could have been handsomer than Mr. REDMOND'S welcome to the
proposal. All he was concerned for, I gathered, was that his Unionist
opponents should be generously represented. Ulster, in the person of
Sir JOHN LONSDALE, made no corresponding advance. He would submit
the proposal to his constituents, but not apparently with letters
commendatory.
I daresay Mr. WILLIAM O'BRIEN set out with the honest intention of
blessing the Government plan, of which indeed he claims to be the
"onlie begetter." But the sound of his own voice--in its higher
tones painfully provocative--stimulated him to proceed to a dramatic
indictment of his former colleagues. I felt sorry for the prospective
Chairman, charged with the task of attempting to reconcile these
opposites.
Mr. HEALY, cowering beneath the shelter of his ample hat, as Mr.
O'BRIEN'S arms waved windmill-like above him, must have felt like
_Sancho Panza_ when the _Don_ was in an extra fitful mood; but he kept
silence even from good words.
The briefest and most helpful speech of the afternoon came from Sir
EDWARD CARSON, who, while declaring that he would never desert Ulster,
nevertheless made it plain that Ulster on this occasion should take
her place beside the rest of Ireland. Only Mr. GINNELL remained
obdurate. In his ears the Convention sounds "the funeral dirge of the
Home Rule Act."
[Illustration: PESSIMIST'S DESIGN FOR COSTUME OF CHAIRMAN OF IRISH
CONVENTION.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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