We used to criticise his boots, His simple tastes in food and fiction, His everlasting homespun suits, His leisurely old-fashioned diction; And yet we had the saving _nous_ To recognise no worse disaster Could possibly befall the House Than the removal of its Master. For though his voice was deep and gruff, And rumbled like a motor-lorry, He showed the true angelic stuff If any one was sick or sorry; So when pneumonia, doubly dread, Of breath had nearly quite bereft me, He watched three nights beside my bed Until the burning fever left me. He served three Heads with equal zeal And equal absence of ambition; He knew his power, and did not feel The least desire for recognition; But shrewd observers, who could trace Back to their source results far-reaching, Saw the true Genius of the Place Embodied in his life and teaching. The War's deep waters o'er him rolled As he beheld Young England giving Life prodigally, while the old Lived on without the cause for living; And yet he never heaved a sigh Although his heart was inly riven; He only craved one boon--to die In harness, and the boon was given. * * * * * =Vicarious Parenthood.= "DABRERA.--Yesterday, at 6.55 a.m. 'Shernery,' Bambalapitiya, to Mr. and Mrs. Ossy Dabrera a daughter. Grand parents doing well."--_Ceylon Independent_. * * * * * "Mr. J.H. Minns (Carlisle) charged the brewers of his city with allowing their tenants to be placed under the heel of the Control Board.... It was the cloven hoof of the unseen hand that the trade had to face in Carlisle."--_Derby Daily Express_. Mr. MINNS must cheer up. The Trade has only to wait for "That auspicious day when the velvet glove will be stripped for ever from the cloven hoof of the German Eagle."--_London Opinion_. * * * * * "The fact that a few girls earn abnormal wages has obscured in the public mind the the Board to accept the gift a Bill is to be age girl working 48 hours a week earned only 18s. or 19s. a week."--_Daily Paper_. This statement should go far to clear up the obscurity in the public mind. * * * * * "Mr. ---- gave one of his popular lectures on 'Alcohol' and its effects on March the 30th in the Wesleyan school."--_True Blue Magazine_. What exactly did happen on March 30th in the Wesleyan school? * * * * * "WANTED, Smart Workman, aged 80, and exempt from military service, as handy man; must be steady; a job for life for careful man."--_Cambria Daily Leader_. He must be particularly careful to guard against premature decease. * * * * * [Illustration: _Waitress_. "WE HAVE A VERY REALISTIC MOCK-POTATO SOUP."] * * * * *