Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, May 9, 1917Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, May 9, 1917
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Like the retired soap-boiler who always looked in on melting-days Lord
HARCOURT could not resist the attraction of the Office of Works' Vote.
He never displayed his ability more signally than in the rapidity and
ease with which he used as First Commissioner to get his Estimates
through the House. It was a treat to hear him poking fun at the bores,
demolishing the captious and humouring the serious critics of his
administration. His present successor goes about his business in a
more stolid way. In his hands the rapier has become a ploughshare. At
first the few Members who stayed to listen found him _Le Mond qui nous
ennuie_, but he woke them up later with the startling announcement
that he can, if he likes, with a stroke of the pen remove the ladies'
grille, and admit the fair visitors to a full view of the House, and,
what is more important, admit the House to a full view of the fair
visitors. For the moment, I gather, he means to hold his hand, pending
full consideration of all the changes that such a revolution may
involve. Besides, the SPEAKER may have to be consulted, although up to
the present he has exhibited no desire to rush in where angels--bless
them!--love to tread.
_Wednesday, May 2nd._--Curiosity to hear Mr. BONAR LAW'S first
Budget-speech caused a full House. The Peers attended in force, and
among the distinguished strangers was "Dr. JIM," a man of action who,
as a rule, takes little interest in the men of talk.
The CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER'S Budget statement was praised by
his predecessor for its ability and lucidity. Personally, I thought
rapidity was its most notable characteristic. Unhampered by manuscript
(save a couple of sheets of notepaper containing a few of the
principal figures) and relying upon his exceptional memory, he rattled
through his thousand-million totals at such a pace that my panting
pencil toiled after him in vain. In seventy-five minutes by the clock
he spoke four solid columns of The Times.
As we have failed to drink ourselves out of our difficulties, for the
Excise returns show a steady falling off, we are to do our bit towards
smoking ourselves out of them by paying 1s. 10d. a pound more on our
tobacco. This last impost constitutes a real piece of self-denial on
the CHANCELLOR'S part, for he is much addicted to cigars both long
and strong, somewhat resembling those which enabled Mr. W.J. TRAVIS to
carry off the Amateur Golf Championship to America.
_Thursday, May 3rd._--The secrets of the Budget were so well kept that
Mr. LAW himself forgot the most important of them until to-day. In
future it will be a case of "one man (or woman) one dog," unless the
owner is prepared to pay on an ascending scale for his extra pets. In
our fight with Germany we must neglect no precaution however small.
To get the KAISER back to his kennel we will, if necessary, empty our
own. Doggedness is essential to victory, but not over-doggedness. Then
let us, in CALVERLEY'S phrase, "curtail the already cur-tailed cur."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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