"Convenience is a great thing," said the worm, "but it isn't everything. Well, good-bye; I am going in till the bird goes." "And I am staying out till the man comes." "Slugs are nasty slimy things," said the thrush, "but in these hard times one must eat what one can get," and he swallowed the slug with a wry face. * * * * * WELL-MEANT. Extract from a New Zealand school-boy's letter:-- "We also had songs, the College song, and the Harrow School song, for the special benifit (_sic_) of the Governor, who is an Etonian." * * * * * [Illustration:_Motor-Launch Officer_ (_who has rung for full-speed without result_). "WHAT'S THE MATTER?" _Voice from below_. "ONE OF THE CYLINDERS IS MISSING, SIR." _Commander_. "WELL, LOOK SHARP AND FIND THE BALLY THING--WE WANT TO GET ON."] * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. (_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._) I was some way into _Thorgills of Treadholt_ (WARD, LOCK), thinking what an unusually plausible and imaginative yarn it was, when I turned back for possible enlightenment, and found a note to the effect that it was a transcription of an Icelandic saga. Those old fellows knew their business. I am not sagacious enough to guess where Mr. MAURICE HEWLETT has passed beyond transcription to creation, but I can tell you that he offers his readers a very charming and finished piece of work. Boys of all ages should delight in this record of the fights and wanderings and stout diplomacy of the chieftain _Thorgills_, who was destined from his cradle to be a notable leader of men. His marriage with _Thorey_ was a romance of as exquisite a flavour as any that our sophisticated age can show, and its tragic end wrings the heart with its infinite pathos. By some singular discretion Mr. HEWLETT has chosen to eschew the least approach to Wardour-Street idiom, and this gives the narrative a simplicity, a sanity and a vivid sense of reality which are extraordinarily more effective than the goodliest tushery, of which flamboyant art Mr. HEWLETT is no mean master. I am sure he has chosen this time a more excellent way. There are transcriptions and transcriptions. This is brilliantly done. * * * * *