* * * * * [Illustration: "NO, DEAR, I'M AFRAID WE SHAN'T BE AT THE DANCE TO-NIGHT. POOR HERBERT HAS GOT A TOUCH OF ALLOTMENT FEET."] * * * * * STOMACH FOR THE FIGHT. O not because my taste for bread Tended to make me much too stout, And all the leading doctors said I should be better far without; Not that my health may be more rude, More svelte my rounded style of beauty, I sacrifice this staple food-- But from a sense of duty! I "can no other" when I think Of how the Hun, docile and meek, Suffers his ravenous maw to shrink, And only strikes, say, once a week; If he for all these months has stood The sorry fare they feed the brute on, I hope that I can be as good A patriot as your Teuton. Henceforth I spurn the dear delight That went so well with jam or cheese; No turn of mine shall wear the white Flour of a shameless life of ease; Others may pass one loaf in three, Some rather more than that, and some less, But I--the only course for me-- Go absolutely crumbless. So, when I quit this mortal strife, Men on my grave these lines shall score:-- "Much as he loved the Staff of Life He loved his country even more; He needed no compelling ban; England, in fact, had but to ask it, And he surrendered, like a man, The claims of his bread-basket." O.S. * * * * * DIPLOMATIC NOTES. The Latin-American situation remains obscure. According to advices from Archangel, Paraguay intends to act, though curiously enough a strange cloud of silence hangs over recent (and coming) events in Ecuador. Bolivia has decided to construct a fleet, despite the fact that the absence of a seaboard is being made a reason for sinister opposition in pro-German circles. Patagonia has mobilised both her soldiers, but her gun is still under repair. Panagua has declared war on Germany. It is hard to over-estimate the value of this new adhesion to the Allied cause. The standing army is well over six hundred strong, and there is a small but modern fleet, consisting of two revenue cutters, one super skiff, eight canoes (mounted with two pairs of six-inch oars) and one raft (Benamuckee class). The President, in a moving address to the Panaguan Senate, declared, "The world is watching Panagua; it does not watch in vain." Senora Hysterica, the first woman senator, cast the only vote against war. "I cannot," she sobbed.