"The second cook, who is an American citizen, managed when the Germans ordered the lifeboats to be given up to hide one under his raincoat."--_Western Mail_. One of the collapsible sort, no doubt. * * * * * "Some very daring entrances were forced into these fortresses. One single soldier not directly concerned with the attack found 20 bottles of champagne in one, drank a glass or two, and went forward to seek for others. Squeezing into one he discovered a German officer in bed."--_Daily Mail_. It must have been a bantam who thought of this ingenious ruse. * * * * * THE NORTH ATLANTIC TRADE. As I was walking beside the docks I met a pal o' mine I sailed with once on the Colonies run in Thomson's Blue Star Line; Said I, "What cheer--what brings you here?" "Why, 'aven't you 'eard?" he said; "I'm under the Windsor 'ouse-flag now in the North Atlantic trade. We sweep a bit an' we fight a bit--an' that's what we like the best-- But a towin' job or a salvage job, they all go in with the rest; When we aren't too busy upsettin' old Fritz an' 'is frightfulness blockade, A bit of all sorts don't come amiss in the North Atlantic trade." "And how does old Atlantic look?" "Oh, round an' about the same; 'E 'asn't seemed to alter a lot since I've been in the game; 'E's about as big as 'e always was, an' 'e's pretty well just as wet (Or, if there's some parts anyway dry, well, I 'aven't struck none yet!), There's the same old bust-up, same old mess, when a green sea breaks inboard, An' the equinoctials roarin' by the same as they've always roared, An' the West Wind playin' the same old larks 'e's been at since the world was made-- They've a peach of a time, 'ave sailormen, in the North Atlantic trade." "And who's your skipper, and what is he like?" "Oh, well, if you want to know. I'm sailin' under a hard-case mate as I sailed with years ago; 'E's big an' bucko an' full o' beans, the same as 'e used to be When I knowed 'im last in the windbag days when first I followed the sea. 'E was worth two men at the lee fore brace, an' three at the bunt of a sail; 'E'd a voice you could 'ear to the royal-yards in the teeth of a Cape 'Orn gale; But now 'e's a full-blown lootenant an' wears the twisted braid, Commandin' one of 'is Majesty's ships in the North Atlantic trade."