[Illustration: THE RIGHT MEN IN THE RIGHT PLACE; VIZ., A CLUB WINDOW. _Old General Muddle_. "WHAT I SAY, IS--IS--EH? WHAT? BY JOVE! WHAT THE DOOCE SHOULD CIVILIANS KNOW ABOUT--EH? WHAT--AHEM!--MILITARY AFFAIRS! AFFAIRS! EH?" _Colonel Splutter_. "HAH! THE PRESS, SIR! BY JOVE, THE PRESS IS THE CURSE OF THE COUNTRY, AND WILL BE THE RUIN OF THE ARMY! BY JOVE, I'D HANG ALL LITTERY MEN--HANG 'EM, SIR!" _"Punch," February 27, 1858._] * * * * * [Illustration: WELL INTENDED, NO DOUBT. _Quaker to British Lion_. "THERE, FRIEND! NOW LET ME PUT AWAY THOSE DANGEROUS VANITIES!" _"Punch," November 20, 1852._] * * * * * [Illustration: A DISTRESSED AGRICULTURIST. _Landlord_. "WELL, MR. SPRINGWHEAT, ACCORDING TO THE PAPERS, THERE SEEMS TO BE A PROBABILITY OF A CESSATION OF HOSTILITIES." _Tenant (who strongly approves of War prices)_. "GOODNESS, GRACIOUS! WHY, YOU DON'T MEAN TO SAY THAT THERE'S ANY _DANGER OF PEACE_!" _"Punch," February 2, 1856._] * * * * * ANTICIPATIONS BY JOHN LEECH. [Illustration: THE PARLIAMENTARY FEMALE. _Father of the Family_. "COME, DEAR; WE SO SELDOM GO OUT TOGETHER NOW--CAN'T YOU TAKE US ALL TO THE PLAY TO-NIGHT?" _Mistress of the House and M.P._ "HOW YOU TALK, CHARLES! DON'T YOU SEE THAT I AM TOO BUSY? I HAVE A COMMITTEE TOMORROW MORNING, AND I HAVE MY SPEECH ON THE GREAT CROCHET QUESTION TO PREPARE FOR THE EVENING." _"Punch's Almanack" for 1853._] * * * * * [Illustration: AN ASTONISHING REQUEST. _Fast young lady (to old gent)_. "HAVE YOU SUCH A THING AS A LUCIFER ABOUT YOU, FOR I'VE LEFT MY CIGAR-LIGHTS AT HOME?" [_"Punch," August 29, 1857._] * * * * * [Illustration: NOT VERY LIKELY. _Mistress_. "WELL, I'M SURE! AND PRAY WHO IS THAT?" _Cook_. "OH, IF YOU PLEASE, 'M, IT'S ONLY MY COUSIN WHO HAS CALLED JUST TO SHOW ME HOW TO BOIL A POTATO." _"Punch," August 31, 1850._] * * * * * [Illustration: OUR SPECIALS. _Special Constable._ "NOW MIND, YOU KNOW--IF I KILL YOU, IT'S NOTHING; BUT IF YOU KILL ME, BY JINGO, IT'S MURDER." _"Punch," April 22, 1848._] * * * * * [Illustration: A PEACE CONFERENCE. _Flora._ "OH, I AM SO GLAD--DEAR HARRIET--THERE IS A CHANCE OF PEACE--I AM MAKING THESE SLIPPERS AGAINST DEAR ALFRED COMES BACK!" _Cousin Tom._ "HAH, WELL! I AIN'T QUITE SO ANXIOUS ABOUT PEACE--FOR, YOU SEE, SINCE THOSE SOLDIER CHAPS HAVE BEEN ABROAD, WE CIVILIANS HAVE HAD IT PRETTY MUCH OUR OWN WAY WITH THE GURLS!" _"Punch," March 22, 1856._] * * * * * [Illustration: HOME AMUSEMENTS. GRAND PEACE DEMONSTRATION IN OUR NURSERY! _"Punch," May 24, 1856._] * * * * * A BALLAD OF EELS.