Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, August 29, 1917Various
History
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, August 29, 1917
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
We were discussing that much discussed question, whether it is better
to be wounded in the leg or in the arm, when young Spilbury butted in.
"I don't know about legs and arms," he said, "but I know there are
certain advantages in having your head bound up." Spilbury's own head
was bound up, and we all said at once that of course the head was much
the worst place in which to be wounded.
"It may be," said Spilbury. "But what I said was that there are
certain advantages in having your head bound up. That's not quite
the same thing as being wounded in the head. For instance, I wasn't
wounded in the head. I was wounded in the jaw. But they can't bandage
the jaw without bandaging the head, which I have found has certain
advantages."
"I can't see where they come in," said Cotterell, "except so far as
personal appearance goes, of course. I won't say that that nun-like
head-dress doesn't become you. You look almost handsome in it."
"It is extremely polite of you to say so," said Spilbury, "but I was
not thinking of that. I was thinking of Dulcie."
There was silence for a space, and then Cotterell said, "If you do not
mention her other name, you may tell us about Dulcie."
"I became acquainted with Dulcie" Spilbury began, "or the lady I
will call Dulcie--for that is not actually her name--while we were
quartered at a camp somewhere in England. Friendships ripen quickly in
war-time. I was signalling officer, and perhaps I signalled to Dulcie
rather more than I meant. I won't say I was wholly blameless in the
matter."
"I shouldn't," said I.
"I won't," said Spilbury. "After I went out we corresponded. But after
a little I began to see I had perhaps over-estimated my affection for
Dulcie. At the time I was wounded I had owed her a letter for some
time, I remember. When I got back to England I did not let Dulcie know
at once, but after a while she heard where I was in hospital and came
to see me. In the meantime I had met Daphne."
"This is a highly discreditable story," said Cotterell. "I am sorry I
allowed you to tell it."
"I won't finish it, then," said Spilbury complacently.
"Yes, you must finish it now."
"Well, I didn't quite know what to do about it. I had felt when we
were somewhere in England that Dulcie brought out all that was best in
me. I found now that Daphne brought out still more."
"She must have been a clever girl," I said.
"She was," said Spilbury, "but I saw that if they both tried at once
they might bring out almost too much. I had to act quickly, for Dulcie
was already by my bedside."
"'Well, Reggie,'" she said.
"I looked at her kindly but firmly.
"'I think there is some mistake,' I said. 'I don't remember having
met you.' Then I pointed to my bandaged head, and added, 'I may have
forgotten. My memory isn't very good.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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